I’m the type of person who is always smiling

  November 15th, 2011 by meowmeowmeow

And I mean like always. When Im around people, I mean anyone (friends and family too, though I let my guard down a bit with my family) I have a big smile plastered on my face. It’s ridiculous really, when I talk to my therapist and I’m telling her about my suicidal thoughts, I have a smile on my face. I mean i’ll be telling her about how much I want to stab myself repeatedly with a huge knife and see all the blood oozing out and I’ll have a huge fucking smile on my face. I really don’t get why I do that. And it’s not like Im happy about this, it’s really hard for me to say those things aloud and when I do I feel so many emotions inside, and certaintly none of them are happy, more along the lines of scared, sad, and lonely

You could literally tell me in public “you’re fat” in all seriousness and I will smile at you, or maybe laugh. I’ve had two therapist and neither really understood my reason for doing that, and i don’t really understand it either.

I guess thats why people are always so shocked when they find out the things in my head.

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