Over the weekend, I went to the loony bin. It was pretty mixed experience and I never want to have to go back. Anyway on getting discharged I received life-changing news – I will have the capacity to end my life painlessly and in a quick, covert fashion in around a week. I won’t say how, but the chances of this happening just went from about 25% to about 90%.
So with that knowledge, I kinda feel free and almost ready to live life again. It has actually brought me slightly up from my depression. It’s just really comforting to know that at any point in the future, if things get unbearable there actually is the option to end it. That said, the next few weeks are going to be very turbulent, so the chance of me going out is pretty high.
2 comments
I am happy for you.
I have everything I care for on the other side, so I have vested interest in getting out of here.
I know how I want to go, just waiting to catch my flight.
All my life I have been seeking for stuff that simply doesn’t exsist on this planet, time to go.
I know the feeling that you speak of, just knowing that I have an instant means of deliverence or escape from life has got me in a place of neutrality. I’m not panicked waiting for the pain meds to end my life. I now have to means.
Although heavy narcotics are the #1 choice.