Big mistake.
Her face contorted. “Well, it doesn’t fucking matter, because you’re not going there, anyway.â€
I fucking hate her.
I did end up telling my dad. After explaining that it was the best engineering school in the country, he grew excited.
Then my mom talked to him.
I want to fucking kill myself.
I put so much effort into school, so much fucking effort, all for the sake of being able to get the fuck out of this house.
I fucking hate her. I want to fucking kill her.
I am so sick of feeling so trapped. Nothing matters. I have no fucking idea why I thought school would be my way out. It’s not. I’m still going to go to a shitty college in the middle of fucking nowhere with my mother breathing down my neck.
I hate her so fucking much. Oh my gosh. I just wish someone would kill me, everything hurts so much. I just feel so stuck.
I have no one to talk to. No one else would understand. You probably don’t understand.
I just want to fucking die.
6 comments
We never will understand, no one understands your problems better than yourself, that’s why your the best person to fix them.
You can get away, it’s life, no one ever said you had to go to school. Sometimes you gotta say FUCK THE WORLD! and do what you want.
Be Cool
This gives me a huge Déjà vu, because this is the *exact* situation I found myself in when I was applying to college.
You’re lucky that your dad is agreeing with you. For me, both my parents wouldn’t let me go. They both emotionally blackmailed me into staying.
From my experience, I’m telling you – go to that good engineering school. Argue it out with your parents as much as possible. Get your Dad on your side. Just do it. Reply back to the college with a “yes” and convince your parents.
For me – I gave in. I stayed and went to a shitty college in the middle of nowhere, in a small shitty country which I wanted to get out of so badly. I ended up taking a major which I had no interest in whatsoever.
It was one of the worst decisions I ever made in my life. Now I’m a Junior in college, extremely depressed, and hence on this website. I wish I had chosen otherwise, which is why I’m advising you to try as hard as possible to go to the college you want to go to.
Same as you – I feel stuck, and extremely depressed. I threw tantrums and didn’t talk to my parents for ages. But they kept emotionally blackmailing me to stay and study a shitty major, when I wanted to go abroad and study Physics. Now I feel trapped and claustrophobic, with parents after me like piranhas.
Just be stubborn as you can be, and go to the college you want to, and study the major you want to. especially if it’s such a nice engineering college.
I would understand. Email me PLEASE! GiaBrownrocks@gmail.com
Why don’t your parents want you to go to that good school? Is it a money thing? I don’t really understand why they wouldn’t want you to go to a good school…
Without knowing more about your situation, I am inclined to agree with Cardboard… if you don’t go to that school, the danger is you might grow to resent your parents even more. What country are you in, are there welfare services that can help you?
You didn’t say anything about who is “paying” for the school, thats a huge issue for families.
Cardboard says, “I wanted to go abroad to study physics” woa, thats a tall order if someone else has to pay.
Expectations are nothing but premeditated resentments, ……… If you really want to go to a specific college, make sure you get some school loans, have a job while at school to pay for the regular stuff.
Unless our parents are very rich and have said they would pay for a higher education, we really can’t expect them to do so. Too many families are scraping by trying to put money away for their own retirements and all the while keeping a roof over all our heads and food on the table. Money doesn’t grow on trees.
A local college where a person can live at home and attend college would make all the sense in the world.
@caucajun32 :
Wow, thanks for passing your wonderful judgement on me, oh great Mighty One.
FYI, I was willing to take student loans and was offered a small scholarship.
There is a difference between parents saying no for financial reasons, and parents coercing you to do something with your life for their own selfish reasons.
I don’t know what exact reasons riiowop’s mother said no, since there is not more info provided. From what I could infer (considering that his Dad was willing to say yes), I thought that it might not be completely financial.