At Thanksgiving dinner my uncle paused all the conversions and asked the table what their passion was. Everyone was taking their turn and saying things like golf, brewing, home care, horses. (family was excluded) When it came my turn I realized… I didn’t have a passion. I don’t love to do anything. A passion is something that your always relating other things to, something that is always on your mind. The only thing that fits those requirements for me is the thought of dying, or more specifically killing myself. Its all I ever think about, it’s on my mind 24/7. Its all I want right now, is to die
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8 comments
Lies…you must have something you enjoy doing. Something that you always do?
I totally relate to what you say. But in myself I also see that behind that hides a fear of having a passion, a fear of being passionate about anything, cause that would really expose my core self. Maybe loose control too. I think its the fear of having to own up to whatever I really like. Do you see that in you?
I also believe there is a difference between having a passion and being passionate. Your focus of passion may be on death right now because that is where you placed it.
Have you tried doing a fake ritual in which you die? Like really acting up your death without actually killing yourself in order to satisfy that death wish.
I’m not hiding, I don’t have any fears, I don’t really like anything. Nothing interest me, when I’m bored I never want to do anything. There is never anything I want to do. And about rituals about death, and trying to get closer to death, every-night I cut my wrist or take a lot of pills to get closer to death, and yet I’m still here. I want to die. It is all I want. Life sucks, I don’t enjoy anything, I don’t have any friends and there is nothing to look forward to except 100 more years of this suffering.
I have a passion…………….
For not having passions..
except the one passion that I have for not having passions…
Confusing, isn’t it?
no it makes sense you enjoy not doing anything,
passions…hmm not really anything I like enough to call it a passion. I feel lucky when I can find anything that is even enjoyable enough that its a better option then laying around doing nothing. Also what would be the difference between a passion and an obsession. Is an obsession just a really strong passion?
obsession is the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc. and passion is any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate. thats what he dictionary says but personaly I think that an obsession is a though or something that controls your mind where a passion is something you do, an act so to speack. but thats jsut me what you said makes sense too
lol well your passion for death sounds like an obsession to me. Although the initial question of “whats your passion” seemed flawed anyway. Seems to imply that there should only be a single answer. Better to ask what are some of your passions, assuming that there are lots of things you might really enjoy doing. Personally stuff like that annoys the hell out of me anyway. Like seriously I don’t even want to be sitting here eating with all you stupid people, so I really don’t care what any of your passions are and certainly don’t feel any desire to share mine with any of you. I hate hate hate family get togethers. Where everyone feels like they have a right to get all personal just because they are family. Luckily I don’t feel any obligation to go to family events anymore so I at least don’t have that stress to worry about.