So tired of hearing I was brainwashed by the childrens aids, by my cousins, that if I wanted to move out at 16, I should have no help from anyone…That’s all I wanted, some help, before I find it’s too late. Because my home was hell, but I returned got molested inside my home, and watched my father piss himself from alcoholism, while my mother accumulated animals and clutter over clutter.
Now I’m 24, being told I’m weak, a failure. I mutilate myself for a reason, stopped for the longest time too, but couldn’t take it anymore. Now I’m on Disability for anxiety and Borderline Personality Disorder. And I foolishly fell in love with someone…I live in fecal matter, and urine from 30 dogs, people started telling me they can smell it from outside the house. I want to skin my epidermis of all the filth just to get back my worth. I can’t take it anymore. I wish I had a gun for a fast way out. My body has fully stopped handling stress, I have no energy anymore, even for simple walks to a corner store. My best friend is giving up on me too…
I escape to my boy friend’s just to come back here, and want to hang myself.
I’m not human, I’m a disabled dog living in everyones filth.
I think jumping off a bridge is a good start.
Scratch that, I’m going to slit my throat.
6 comments
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where are you from?
=)
Ontario.
ooo, mmm. Have you heard of Intentional Communities/Eco-Villages? I’ll put up a link, I don’t know check it out, you might be interested. If you need to get away for a while, you might be able to do so by joining one.. iono ^^
im from california by the way ^^
http://directory.ic.org/
i sent you a link but it’s ‘ awaiting moderation ‘
^^
No I have never heard of it, and I still don’t see the link, thank you though.