I get so jealous of chicks. It’s easy to find a boyfriend, no matter how socially awkward you are, but it’s impossible for me to find someone. When I talk to chicks they shrug me off, every single time. I’m not even unattractive. . . I’m fit, but when I talk in public I can’t keep a conversation going to save my life. The internet is great because you have minutes to think of a response, but in real life I sound like a social retard. If I hear “I have a boyfriend” again I’m going to scream. I’ve heard that 5 times this month. I’m not even asking them out I’m just trying to talk to them. . . It’s all the depressions fault I know. . . but if I don’t get rid of it completely I’ll be forever alone. And I hate people who make jokes about those guys. . . it’s not funny. It’s my life you’re laughing at.
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Trust me, it’s not easier for women although I know a lot of guys think that. People are WAY more judgemental of fat and ugly girls than fat and ugly guys, because women are judged more on looks. Either way, just stop seeing women as women and start seeing them as people. So, callinng them ‘chicks’ might not be the best start. Desperation is a big turn off. So when you meet someone new, don’t see them as a potential girlfriend. Just see them as another human on this planet, and learn to be friends first.
Wally, I was there, so many men have the same inability where women are concerned, it sucks.
Yet take it from an old dog, …… there is a woman out there for every man.
So whatever youv’e tried isn’t working, do something very different. Stop looking, they seem to appear when we least expect it.
Try getting involved with something you may just meet them there, like volunteering at food lines, hospitals, the animal shelter etc.
@one_day I’m not sure I agree. . .all fat ugly girls have to do is slim down and put on makeup. I have to learn how to talk in social situations with a broken brain. I try not to be desperate, and I have had girls who are friends, but they always just tell me about the guys they’re dating and sleeping with. You’re probably right though that I need to see them as humans and not women because they’re definitely intimidating.
You should have seen me at the bar yesterday though lol I was sitting alone after a few rejections, and people were passing by me and patting me on the shoulder telling me “lifes not that bad” while my friends are kissing girls in the corner and leaving with them. It could be a meme or youtube video for sure.
@caucajun That’s definitely a good suggestion on the volunteering. I might do that because those are the nice girls anyway, and I just hope there’s a woman out there for me.
“It’s easy to find a boyfriend, no matter how socially awkward you are”
Takes issue w. that,,,,I am considered quite the beauty, BUT I am shy as hell w a guy I like. Going thru this now w. a guy who makes my heart stop at work, he is so cute but gives me mixed signals, he is very very reserved, part of it may be cultural, but his push pull is crazy making!!!
NO WAY is it easy to be asked out….
@Mitsuko but that’s just with one guy. You can still get almost ANY guy you want and probably him too. There are tons of guys who want to take you out any day of the week. I would kill to be able to get 1 college girl out of the thousands in town. Also,I read a study that shows guys go out with attractive chicks who ask them out something like 95% of the time(70% for ugly chicks doing the asking). So ask him out! He’ll go with you. I promise. Meanwhile, chicks have something like a 40% date acceptance rate on average. Or in my case a 0% success rate.
LOL, @WALLY-you are so cute!
If you only knew..1.) before he did something business related w. me that thru us briefly together he barely looked at me, except when he passed my office, then after I THINK ice is broken he ignores me when we are both going to elevator, in fact he ran from me, then, next day I see him on lobby waiting elevator to go into work (we work around the corner same flow) he turns his back won’t speak, then I say hi and thank him for doing the work thing he is rude and abrupt, seems anxious to get away, so I say F that…I don’t walk by hum, I don’t go to the kitchen, and don’t lift my eyes when he passes by, he comes to me about a phony report a week later and then a few days interrupts a convo I am having w. a colleague to talk to me which he has NEVER done, I say HI next say on way in, lifts his eyes, say Hi but I am shut down from speaking more, his attitude is strange, can’t figure if he swkward or playing me, he is asian so I tend to thing former…I WILL not ask him out bc when I say HI, he barely acknowledged me and seems to like it when I ignore him, if I was not so damn attracted to him, I would bail, in fact I am trying to bail, but I still have hope…
LOL…I know I can get someone else, but it is NOT easy for me, I feel very insecure despite my good looks, sometimes its not what you think!
@Mitsuko I got ya lol. Yeah. . . the cultural difference definitely throws me a little bit too. I have to say I wasn’t expecting that exactly. Have you tried dropping a stack of papers while next to him? That works sometimes in romantic comedies. You could say you owe him a cup of coffee (if he helps you pick them up).
Come to think of it I might try that sometime. . . lol
@Wally LOL Thanks I read that..
I know its CRAZY MAKING!!! I swear off the guy, he come around, I give an inch think progress is made and bam, its back to square one…the thing is like i said I get butterflies from him, its the weirdest thing…he is NOT even my type and I don’t have a fetish, its just I picked up on this amazing chemistry since day one, but maybe its in my head…any way, I am leaving the job (he doesn’t know it yet) in a few months, so we’ll see, I’d rather die than ask and you know I said HI last week, I know he heard me, but didn’t say anything. Mother thinks he’s a creep, cousin thinks he is socially awkward, I think he’s getting off on my crush, then think its shyness…UGH…
SO Wally, there you have it…NOT EASY.
U should but please Wally promise me, you’ll MAN UP…women HATE mixed signals, its pushy-pully man, you know…just be direct. I know rejection sucks. That is why I won’t ask, Mr. LightemyHeartonFire…NOpe.
This guy is AMERICAN btw….
@Wally-loggin off good luck to Love..
Just remember your stats, and steer clear of the “ugly chic”, LOL.
I suppose so lol. I don’t quite get the anxiety in asking though. I guarantee you he doesn’t have a boyfriend. So if he uses that line call him out on it hahaha.
Alright, see you later Mitsuko
“all fat ugly girls have to do is slim down and put on makeup.”
Come on… that is the EXACT objectification of women that I;m sure is gettin gin your way of seeing women as just another human on the planet.
Firstly, do you really think it’s so easy to just ‘slim down’ for some people? Secondly, come on, makeup only goes so far. You also assume that your problem of social awkwardness doesn’t apply to women. I’m sure it’s 10 times worse for fat ugly girls, because they are so much more socially stigmatised.
Treat women like people. And maybe you are judging too much on looks and not enough on personality.
2wally, so you mean you don’t think he has a GF? U think he actually does like me?
@One_day Slimming down is fixable. There are direct steps to do it, but where are the direct steps for social awkwardness? Go out more? Please, if that worked I’d be fixed already. The problem is a broken brain or a different one at least. If I could just find that study I was talking to Mitsuko about on guys asking girls out vs girls asking guys out you would definitely see even the ugly chicks have a higher success rate than NORMAL guys. Thus socially awkward guys definitely have it the worst.
@Mitsuko I was making a joke because that’s how girls keep responding to me lol. I think it’s hard to tell if he likes you or not. Still, I think it’s worth a shot if you really like him. You should ask him out. The worst he can say is no, which is the same result as when you leave your job in a few months.
@Wally-thanks Bro, I agree its too out there to call. So I’ll bide away and see what happens, you are right. Maybe I will.
Hope the next cutie gives you a whirl ; P
Wally, the point is, everyone has their own baggage. So it’s hard for some people to slim down, and it’s hard for you to be social. Don’t look at it like your baggage is harder than everyone elses. Don’t even think about it. Just treat other people the way you want to be treated: ie. give everyone a chance. Don’t write people off just because of appearance, don’t be judgemental. I can tell just by the way you write there might be a level of judging going on from you, that maybe some people pick up on.
@one_day : Aah someone gets my point! People! Stop being so fucking judgemental about everything!