I don’t know… Why I’m writing this… I’m a Christian; a truly devout follower of Christ, and I love God with all my heart. But the pain is too much.
Waiting for everyone to go to sleep….
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if i may ask why do you want to die?
The man who raped me walked away free today. My life was hopeless anyway without the constant fear. My security is gone.
wow…i’m really sorry about that i cant imagine what thats like…but it doesn’t mean your life has to be over you can fight the fear and look him straight in the face and say i’m not afraid anymore you can’t run away from fear, ot overcome it you must face it at its heart… and if you don’t feel safe mayb carry a knife around with you or a detterant of some sort…
Be strong, friend. These are trying times. Many times, I remember I looked towards the sky, and I saw the moon and stars. I always wondered what if I didn’t come to exist what if I was free of my sins what if these challenges were never there… It feels so aberrant. It feels like there’s no way out, and we are trapped inside a box with very tall walls. No escape.
I think there’s always hope. You just need to find it within you. Find the reason to stay alive. It is there staring you. Feel it in your heart.
If you kill yourself, he wins, don’t let that happen.
If your a true believer in the messege Jesus brought to the world is that all are forgivable if they turn away from sin. So even this person that raped you can be forgiven by Christ.
Sometimes I wonder if my non forgivness of others is the one thing that keeps me out of heaven.
Forgive us our tresspass’s as we forgive those which trespass against us.
He didn’t care what the trepass was, it could be a pencil for a 10 karat diamond, its not the object or incident Jesus spoke about, it’s the forgivness itself.
Keep holding on. Read psalm 109.. Sometimes it helps me.. a bit.. Sometimes I am not too sure what I am.. do i love him? or do i simply believe in him to make myself feel like i have some kind of security and self respect on some level? I just dont know anymore.
The cuts and bruises and holes in my heart dont help mend the pain that was already there.
-O.G