I know I want to do it.. but I’m so meticulous that I want it to be just right. I’m ready and all, but it has to be something.. I hate to say special.. but I guess it is. I’ve snapped millions of times and just said “fuck it†and taken bottles of pills or tried drowning myself (obviously didn’t work..), but that’s too.. foolish and hasty.
Lately I’ve been trying to really plan it out; a place and time. I have a pretty good idea of the how.. I don’t think I can actually share it all.. but it involves CO2 (or helium), pills and alcohol… you can figure it out.
It’s weird because it’s almost so exciting, and I haven’t been excited for a while. There’s also this relieving sensation that comes over me when I think about it, and instead of having all this pain and hurt on my mind.. all I think about is death.
I’m almost free.
14 comments
I understand… I am using ********
I think I’ll probably go with helium among other things. I hope you can find peace while you’e still here.
You don’t want to use CO2 as it’s a build up of CO2 that causes you to breathe. If it then gets more of the same you’ll just end up uncontollably panicking and pulling the hood off. ******** or helium replace oxygen so that co2 doesn’t build up so almost no panic. There’s a few things you need to do to dispel all air from lungs and hood too but if you’re serious youll find that out with research.
Ok Sunny check this out. Google the hell out of ******** suicides. You will find everything you need and how to do it. I mean it will a few hundred dollars and some quality alone time. I tried to do it today and you will not believe a co-worker walked in on me. He never comes over. I even forgot I gave him a key 7 months ago so he could stay over when his car was totaled. I will try again later in the week. But yes, ******** is the best, so I have read. Esp, with the “good” feeling it gives you.
Helium…that’s what I”m doing. Been doing lots of learning about the subject. since I can’t natural go to sleep and never wake up, this sounds like the most peaceful way to go.
Found out neurontin helps with the twitching associated with helium use. I got lots of it for a back problem I have.
Yeah I am not sure why Helium causes twitching, don’t really care. But from everything I have read ******** is the. Even death reports say the bodies looked calm and peaceful. I do warn you against harming others. Just be careful and take a day or two to properly plan it out, then a good while before you execute it. Just to ensure success without killing others.
The think about ******** is it’s just a tiny bit harder to come by. I actually have ******** at work but it’s in the maintenance supervisor’s apartment. It would be weird for me to ask for the tank…lol. I’m not too worried about the twitching either. I just don’t want that to knock the bag off my head.
I got it easily. I even made up a story about how I was starting my own home fixer upper company. I am also a mid 20’s black guy (it kind of does matter) I pretended as if I knew nothing about it and the guy helped me out so much. Even helped me fix a few things that may have messed up my mission. It will be costly though.
I guess i’m just saying that helium you can buy at party stores. ******** you have to get from a gas supplier. I could get it easily too for HVAC purposes but the average person I think would be a bit unsure of what to do/ say. You could say you need to get it to fill tanks for a paint ball gun.
Just say air compression tools. I honestly came up with that as I walked into the store. And it was an AirGas store. One for paintballs, I think use CO2 and they are not large enough to get the job done.
I think I’ll be going with helium. I’ll get the party balloon from a party store or something. There are a few major things that I need to work out.
The hood mainly since I’m making it on my own, finding a way to prevent someone else from dying, and actually I think that’s it. I figured I’d send an automated e-mail to a close friend of mine, after a day or so to give myself time.
As for the hood, I’m afraid that well.. it’ll come off by the pressure or I’ll take it off I can’t underestimate my own body’s will to fight. I figured by using the sweatband at the bottom with my own manufactured bag.. probably a clear vacuum one, it would do the trick.. but I might just invest in a gas mask.. I’ve heard it doesn’t work.. but I don’t get why. Maybe I’ll go overkill and put a bag over my gas mask. I don’t want to fuck this up. I’ll also try to OD off many pills, and alcohol. I can’t have this fail, I don’t want to be a vegetable.
You should email me. kingjericho300@gmail. Do not use alcohol and pills. It will make things painful, and you throw up. And 90 percent sure you do not have the right pills. And the body twitches with helium, however minor you really do not want to have room for marginal error.
I tried the helium method tonight… my understanding was that I would pas out after a few seconds.. I didn’t and i panicked and pulled the hood off… I thought I’d done it all right as well, platic bag with no holes, sweatband to hold the bag over my head, release the gas… nothing.. maybe i didn’t wait long enough…