personally.. i want to know what pushes you to this thought process. i wanna know why you want to die.. not like life sucks i cant deal.. but concrete events history.. i want to know the jist of your story.. please
share your suicide story
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Why do you wanna know?
Because fucked up parents make me incapable of receiving or accepting love, because people in general are frustratingly selfcentred to the point where they push you away, because human life is so fraught with moral abiguity that the confusion hardly outweighs any impact one has.
Rant over.
I’ve asked this question before too… As far as me its mainly anxiety and a terrible job that pays me just enough to live in a small town I hate. I’m also so clueless with women its not funny. That’s the here an now of it I guess there are several events that I would like to forget in my adolescence and childhood. Some things were relatively insignificant and just embarrassing some things looking back were borderline abuse. I’m too private of a person to give specifics even though you asked for them. I guess growing up poor sucked too. There was a time in high school I only had 3 shirts they were all hand me downs it sucked because I went to a more well to do high school at the time. All the other kids had throwbacks and jordans and timberlands. I had 3 fucking shirts. I’m 24 I shouldn’t be dwelling on shit 10 years ago but HS sucked.
people leaving without saying goodbye. Well my thoughts. Stress. Depression. Bullying in school ect ect ect. nothing really special about it.
A life thats worse than Death Itself ! I am facing a Terminal Situation, why suffer longer at all ?
Caucajun32 I didn’t know you had a terminal illness I’m so sorry to hear that…
why i want to know.. don’t you ever just someone to hear your story? someone that isn’t going to stop you worried or repeat it but just hear it. someone who isnt going to tell you a line about how things will get better or there are other ways. sometimes i just need an ear. andi like to listen. its sad to hear but i need to know other people get it that other people have lived lifes others cant imagine
Not a terminal Illness, ……… a Terminal Situation, a future worse than life.
example: If your trapped in a burning building, and the choices are To Burn To Death, or Jump which one do you take ?
There are no other choices, which do you take, the one that causes incredible pain and suffering, or choose to jump to a quick ceratin death, no real pain, just falling fast then an immediate stop.
The choice is very clear in my book.
PS I’m not jumping from anything, I’m afraid of heights, lol.
above was just an example
^^ me too hah
@cauajuan I see I’m sorry for you having a terminal situation then.
I’ve always been a loser. Then, when I leave school, along comes debilitating chronic mental illness. Yay. Makes me unable to take further education, hold down a job or be around other people. I’m prescribed medication which alters my personality and makes me even more cynical and depressed. I just want fucking out.
I can’t study. I can’t get a job. I can’t talk to anyone looking even slightly official or busy, which doesn’t help. I don’t have any dreams or hopes for the future. I’m unattractive, unsocial, lazy, unintelligent and a pure waste of space. And i don’t think i can change.
Because I’m never happy, no one needs me, and I have no friends. Life suck and its painful to live through every day. I hate watching people around me having the time of there lives while I can’t. Life is a painful, horrible thing in witch I suffer every day. And all I ever think about are ways to end my suffering and all I wish for is the day I die
story as way i want to die I want to die as I hate my life all so hate living I all so have learning and spelling disability All have the rest off my life naiver can sleep all so I Have depression I have lived 49 years off this hall so the only way out is to take my life I want to die so so so bed I naiver stop thanking about wanting to die I hoping I can do it soon I want to die badly I don’t want to go on living any longer but I want to die vary soon hope I can find a good way to c.t.b don,t care about the pain long as I find a good way to die as I’m fed up with my life hopeing to do it befor the new year any way thanks for lessening all be glad when my life is over. and don,t it will get better .
its all because of aa man taking something that isnt his property it was mine and now i live witt tht everyday
its all because of aa man taking something that isnt his property it was mine and now i live witt tht everyday
’cause this world is becoming shallower by the day, the people in it are going insane, only caring about themselves and not accepting the different. Just harsh and cruel. System of a Down is the only good thing about this fucked up world right now.
good angry music lol
Dear Loathing,
Looking back on the last 10 years of my life, all these long years that you and I have walked everywhere together, I can’t help but think about how it all should have been different. When I was 18 (did I just write that!?!?) so many doors were open before me, doors that I opened, doors that now after 10 years I have systematically and deliberately closed. And for what exactly? I went to school, and I did alright, I graduated and got a job. It was a good job, not what I really wanted but (as is so evident now) it paid the bills. And I ruined it. Part of me really struggles with that fact, but it’s a fact none the less, I am solely to blame for this gargantuan mess that now not only I am in but my beautiful wife too. She happens to be the only person stopping my hand right now. Because if I let go, if I give in and take my life tonight, I will hurt her as badly as he hurt me. He took everything from me, no one has a right to do to ANYONE what he did to me and 15 years later I still can’t move past it. I promised I would take care of her, but she spends most of her precious time dragging me outta the mud and keeping both our heads above water. The irony of this whole mess is that everyone out there that sees or hears us talk about how we want to end our lives has absolutely no idea what it feels like to be us or even what it is we truly want. Now, I won’t presume to speak for anyone else but for me. I can’t help but laugh when someone I reach out to for comfort tells me that “I’m just looking for relief from the pain, pain is a feeling just like relief, and you have to be alive to feel either. But having lived with you, Loathing, the joke it seems is on them. I simply want to feel nothing. Oblivion. I imagine dying to be like slipping into a dark and quiet hole. Cold and absolute. And at the moment of true death I would simply cease to be, to think and therefore to feel anything at all. I would just stop. The world would continue going on around on its axis, just as it did before me, and not a thing would change for it or its multitude of passengers. I used to define myself by what I did for work, but I gave that away, now I define myself by what I lack. And so the cycle continues, the abused find others to abuse in their own way, my only regret is that she fell in love with me. I love h truly and deeply, I just don’t want to hurt her anymore. I want to slip out of the oubliette and into oblivion. I never did become the chef I said I would when I was 18, and had so much road and so many doors in front of me. I want to let go in order to stop being a disappointment, to everyone who thought I’d be more, to my wife, but ultimately to me.