I can’t take it anymore, ending it soon

  December 2nd, 2011 by matt00745

I mean when I was in highschool I was pretty popular, I had friends and girls all over me. I was captain of the wrestling team and was benchpressing 300 lbs when I weighed 135, I honestly thought I was the shit. Now 6 months after graduating I’m a complete loner, my best friend is my phone. I have no friends, i can’t think of anything to say to anybody so I can honestly go days withought talking. I started skipping college because I was so awkward around people, and the only thing I would do is go to the park and watch movies on Netflix. I can’t even have a conversation with my parents, im getting dropped from school, about to be fired from my job, and I haven’t had one happy day since I graduated. Suicide is the only way out, I don’t want to do it, actually I’m terrified, but it’s always on my mind from the time I wake up until I’m having nightmares about it that night. I can’t take it. Every second of my day I’m sad, depressed and thinking about what I did so bad to deserve this. I’m planning on driving 11 hours to Florida tonight, spending the week there, then sitting in my car and burn some charcoal so I’ll be killed by carbon monoxide.

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