No use

  December 9th, 2011 by Shockey300

I thought it was over.  The bad thoughts, the lonliness, the tossing and turning late at night wishing I could just be done and gone rather than face what’s going on in my head.  I used to have so many friends there was never a bleak moment.  Now all that’s left is me.  The thought of you is what really hurts the most.  It wasn’t always like this.  When we found each other, I had finally found someone like me.  Two broken people who didn’t have to be that way anymore.  We helped each other…we were happy. 

The thought of building a life together was the only thing keeping me going.  Everything I did was for us.  Now, like everything else, you’ve gone. 

Are you happy now?  Did you make it through to the other side?  Was it like we imagined it would be?            ….These are all things I will never be able to ask you.

The thought of dying doesn’t scare me anymore.  Especially now that your gone.  You left me here without even saying goodbye.  No one believed it when they heard about what happened.  I still remember it like it was yesterday.  My heart froze.  I couldn’t breathe when I got the call.  Just like that…you left this world.  Some people called you selfish, others were just confused.  But I knew the whole time.

I wasn’t enough to keep you happy.  But why?  Why didn’t you tell me??  I would have gone with you.  We could have left this place together.

Everything I did was for us.  Now nothing matters.  Could death be the last thing I can do for us?  It’s the only escape I see.  I can’t do this anymore without you.

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