My day was even worse than usual. It started off when I walked to the library to wait gor the bell to ring. I sat by some people who I knew because they were in a few of my classes. When I sat down, the guy I sat next to looked at me and said, “Theres reasons why I don’t like you. So why are you sitting next to me?” This might not have bothered most people, but it sure bothered me. It was just another person reminding me that nobody cares about me. The whole day what he said to me was stuck in my head. Things got worse. I was assigned detention for not wearing my sweater vest for the day we had to wear formal uniform which was today because we had mass. At lunch, I was made fun of and picked on again. By the same people who do it everyday. Even the person who I thought wouldn’t pick on me anymore, he had stopped doing it for a bit but he started again today. A few weeks ago, even though I hate him, I was nice to him and I lended him $5 so he could by lunch. He still hasn’t paid me back even though he said he would. So even though I was nice to him, he still picks on me. I just walked away from the lunch area before lunch even ended because I was tired of getting picked on. I walked away with tears in my eyes and hoped no one noticed. During Algebra I sat in my assigned seat. Right behind Her. Basically the whole period, every time I’m in that class, I just watch her talk to almost everyone but me. There are a few guys who make fun of Her and stuff and it pisses me off more than anything. But She remains friends with them. Watching Her talk to all those people, hearing Her laugh, its more of a form of torture than anything. To make things so much worse, my best friend; my only friend for that matter, has stopped talking to me. She stopped talking to me about a week ago when I got mad at her. I told her I was going to kill myself because she wasn’t talking to me, but she didn’t respond. I was hoping that her dad just took her phone away again, but then I saw her facebook status where she stated that she has no true friends. That means she doesn’t think of me as her friend anymore. I have nobody now. I managed to screw up another friendship and its all my fault because it always is. Now I can kill myself. My best friend doesn’t care about me anymore so I don’t have to worry about her being sad when I’m gone. I’m completely alone. Now I’m just waiting for that one final thing that pushes me over the edge. When that time comes, I will kill myself without hesitation.
-End
35 comments
That sounds terrible; no one deserves to be treated that way. Don’t let those kids get to you. It’s people like them that cause so many good kids to take their own lives. If you need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me. I can’t help but say that I don’t think death is the right choice. I can see why it would seem like a good choice but in the long run you’ll be happy. You just need to wait it out. Stay strong.
ughhhhhh. Just hearing about those kids really gets my blood boiling. I don’t like bullying. Just remember that if you need someone to reach out to, you can always contact me DTester0229@g.fmarion.edu My names Daniel 😀
It sounds to me like your just in a bad place. You need to get out of that school.
@Shockey300 Thanks Daniel. I can’t leave the school though. Although I’d rather just leave this world.
Her? theres always one, that no matter what you do she in youre head all day? when u close u want to do nothing but to reach out nd touch her. At least thats how it is for me. as for the haters… look @ it that you have a fan club 🙂 start pretending you love the attention laugh at the insults, comment on some of the insults. make jokes on the worse of them. Tell ur man that u gave the money to that u want it back… nd for heaven sake explain to ur friend y u angry with her, tell her how it felt when u saw that she thought u not her friend
@Procel Yeah, thats about how I feel. And its too hard to laugh at them picking on me when I just want to kill myself when they do it. I can’t explain anything to my friend anymore because she won’t talk to me
🙁 tragic day im getting made fun of less Q~ Q but im sorry about your day im really am
@SuicideKillMe Thanks, hopefully tomorrow will be better but I doubt it
I only got out of bed at 9 oclock this evening, i was too lazy to get up…
It Sounds Like Your Having A Pretty Rough Time! On Your Bestfriend Front, I Have Been There, All It Took To Sort It Out Was Sitting Down With Her, I Told Her Everything, I Poored My Heart Out, Told Her How I Felt, I Left Some Out, Stuff That I Dont Tell Anybody, That I Dont Want Anybody To Know! But I Told Her What I Could, I Appologised, Because She Has Put Up With Me Being A Pretty Crap Friend Recently With My Depression, And All She Has Done Is Try To Support Me, And She Felt Hurt That I Threw It Back In Her Face By Telling Her She Didn’t Help Me, She Just Upset Me More, Sit Down With Her, If You Dont Feel You Can Face To Face Write A Letter, Inbox Her On Facebook, Anything, To Let Her Know Your Hurting, And You Need Your Bestfriend Now More Than Ever, And Without Her In Your Life, Your Getting Close To The Edge, She Will Forgive You, All She Wants Is For You To Be Happy, To Start Feeling Better!xxxx
@Saddistraction I wish I colud talk woth her face to face, but she lives basically on the other side of the country. You’re right though. I do need her. She was pretty much the only person who could make me happy when I’m on the verge of killing myself. She kept me company when I was lonely. But now she hates me and its all my fault. She’ll never want to be my friend again
U dont give ur friend enough credit bro. talk to her, ring her if u can but talk to her. and even if she dosnt want to be friends anymore at least u’ll have tried
@Procel What do you mean I don’t give her enough credit?
I’m curious.. this friend of yours who has stopped talking to you, did you meet this person on this site?
@Jigoku Shoujo Yes, I did meet her on this site
It has been such a long time, and you’re still alive. Hello lad. Does your friend happen to be Anna a.k.a. ‘Broken’, the girl from Richmond? Oh, I ask because I remember her telling me something like what you wrote in your post, the whole ‘I have no true friends’ bit. So it sounded like her. Well, I could be wrong.
@Umbra_Uroboros No, its not anna. Her username on this site was someonesaveme. She doesn’t come on here anymore though
Hmm… I remember that one. Sorry for the loss. You still talk with Anna right?
Actually, no I don’t. Not too sure what happened I only talked with her for 1 day then she just stopped
By the way I formerly went by the moniker ‘Umbra_Artist’ if you’ve forgotten. Like I said it has been a long time.
Yeah I know. Don’t you remember? I asked you why you changed your name and you said that you’ve stopped making art and destroyed all of your artwork
Ah I see. Then you and me both lost a dear friend. You lost ‘someonesaveme’ and I lost ‘Broken’. Most unfortunate. I hope you patch things up with your friend if she’s willing to talk. Mine apparently just “walked out”.
Wow. No I didn’t. Alot happened that I can’t keep track of everything.
I meant I didn’t remember that. Lol.
Intersting. How did you lose anna?
She drifted away from me. All of a sudden she just stopped talking to me, wouldn’t share her feelings/thoughts, wouldn’t let me try helping her. So that was it. A cold shoulder from her and no parting words. No hard feelings though.
Aw, I’m sorry to hear that. How old are you now?
Thanks. I turned 21 on July. Maturing gracefully. Y’know I saw on one thread where someone said somewhere along the lines of, “When you truly have nothing left……” and so on, and I thought I am not left with nothing just yet so I’m not going down without a fight. Know what I mean? Well, I think that’s the way to go. To persevere against all odds. You could say I have a warrior’s mentality. Try it out man.
Woah, 21. So you can drink and stuff?
Heh. 21 is still young. When I’m 60 then I’m old. Indeed, I’m at a legal age to consume alcohol. But you see, I’m not one to make bad habits (even just for fun) so I prefer to stay away from alcohol as I never did drugs or smoked either haha.
@Umbra_Uroboros Ah, a wise choice. Alcohol can do a lot of damage
@LiveNoLonger Then Ring Her If You Can, Write A Letter And Send It, Inbox Her, If She Doesn’t Listen, You Tried And There Is Nothing Else You Can Do! But Atleast You Didn’t Give Up, Im Sure She Doesn’t Hate You, She Probably Just Feels Hurt That You Said That To Her Because She Worrys So Much! You Said You Met Her On Here, Then She Has Felt Like This Before And Should Understand That You Said It Out Of Deperation! She Was Your Bestfriend, She May Be Upset, But She Could Never Hate You! Good Luck!xxxx
@Saddistraction I’ll try to call her, but what if she doesn’t answer the phone because she doesn’t want to talk to me? Before all of this happened, she told me that she could never hate me. I guess that changed..
@livenolonger what i mean is as soon as u explane it she bound to want to be friends again nd ye cant drink till ye 21??????
@Procel Well, theres no garuntee that she would want to be friends again. And yes, the legal drinking age in America is 21
@LiveNoLonger Well Atleast You Can Say You Have Tried! If She Doesn’t Answer, Then Text Her, Saying You Feel Like You Need To Get Some Things Of Your Chest, And When She Is Ready To Listen Then Could She Please Get Back To You, Maybe She Just Needs Some Time To Reflect On Her Own Life/Problems, And Im Sure She Doesn’t Hate You! I Had A Massive Falling Out With One Of My Old Friends, We Were As Close As Anything, That Was What Finally Made Me Snap A Few Months Back, She Really Hurt Me, But I Have Never Once Hated Her, We Have A Chat Here And There, I Was Really Cut Up About It, But Sometimes People Change, I Hope You Do Sort It Out, But I Know Right Now Its Really Hard, I Honestly Do, But It Will Change, You Just Have To Be Patient, And Try With All You Have To Summon Up The Strenght To Carry On!xxxx
Legal age is 18 in Ireland nd by christ has it helped 😀