Officially Alone

  December 8th, 2011 by LiveNoLonger

My day was even worse than usual. It started off when I walked to the library to wait gor the bell to ring. I sat by some people who I knew because they were in a few of my classes. When I sat down, the guy I sat next to looked at me and said, “Theres reasons why I don’t like you. So why are you sitting next to me?” This might not have bothered most people, but it sure bothered me. It was just another person reminding me that nobody cares about me. The whole day what he said to me was stuck in my head. Things got worse. I was assigned detention for not wearing my sweater vest for the day we had to wear formal uniform which was today because we had mass. At lunch, I was made fun of and picked on again. By the same people who do it everyday. Even the person who I thought wouldn’t pick on me anymore, he had stopped doing it for a bit but he started again today. A few weeks ago, even though I hate him, I was nice to him and I lended him $5 so he could by lunch. He still hasn’t paid me back even though he said he would. So even though I was nice to him, he still picks on me. I just walked away from the lunch area before lunch even ended because I was tired of getting picked on. I walked away with tears in my eyes and hoped no one noticed. During Algebra I sat in my assigned seat. Right behind Her. Basically the whole period, every time I’m in that class, I just watch her talk to almost everyone but me. There are a few guys who make fun of Her and stuff and it pisses me off more than anything. But She remains friends with them. Watching Her talk to all those people, hearing Her laugh, its more of a form of torture than anything. To make things so much worse, my best friend; my only friend for that matter, has stopped talking to me. She stopped talking to me about a week ago when I got mad at her. I told her I was going to kill myself because she wasn’t talking to me, but she didn’t respond. I was hoping that her dad just took her phone away again, but then I saw her facebook status where she stated that she has no true friends. That means she doesn’t think of me as her friend anymore. I have nobody now. I managed to screw up another friendship and its all my fault because it always is. Now I can kill myself. My best friend doesn’t care about me anymore so I don’t have to worry about her being sad when I’m gone. I’m completely alone. Now I’m just waiting for that one final thing that pushes me over the edge. When that time comes, I will kill myself without hesitation.


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