The Effects of Methamphetamine.

December 12th, 2011by Kitty

One week. No sleep. Deprived. Can’t eat. I’m numb. Mind state frozen. Stuck on one topic. Hope. Wondering if I’ve lost it. Or found more of it. To use as an aid. In helping to survive. Fight. Through every day. Waking up. Thinking how different things could be. If only.. If only.. Two simple words. When put next to each other. Forms the most useless sentence. It’s impossible. To go back and change it. You cannot rearrange it. Life keeps going on. Even when it doesn’t.

I’m  a small, almost invisible, almost nobody. Not important. Not worth it. Undeserving. A self-destructive personality. Ruining everything. When things seem alright. I’m a living breathing contradiction. A self-fulfilling prophecy. Just a scared, confused, broken little girl. Who hides it pretty well. From the rest of the world. She doesn’t want your pity. She hates your pity.

She’s got her problems. Like everyone else. She’s fighting a war inside herself.

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