Hello, I am 15 years old and I have tried to kill myself 17 times already.
My Dads a murderer, I don’t get my mum anymore, I’m scared, she’s so empty, so angry. You see my mum suffers fromÂ borderlineÂ personality disorder, I’ve been brought up around so I should be use to it by now surely? But I’m not, I’m petrified, my Mums also physically ill however won’t go to the doctors. I’m afraid she might have cancer. Â It’s like she’s in denial, like she refuses toÂ acknowledge her ill health. It’s hard, I’m lonely, I have my friends, but thats not my mum. Its always been me and myÂ mum against the world and now its like she don’t even want me around, I will be dead by the end of the week. I cant take this mental torture, this pain. I’e tried, oh boy have I tried, but no, I can’t do it, call me a coward, but take a walk in my shoes and you’ll see I’m so strong to have coped this far.
sorry, i needed some release.
You really are so strong to have coped with that. If you ever need to rant i’ll listen.
There is no way you are a coward after what you have gone through. Your lucky you had a mom for so long that cared about you my mom hates me cause im too much like my father. i hope that you can find a light in the pain and that you can somehow get out of this. I understand suicide seems like the right choice and maybe it is, but I wish for your sake that there is something else out there for you that can give you something to live for.
Thankyou, to both of you, I’ve tried so long now, I feel dead. Theres a shell with no spirit I can’t continue to live like this.