Well I didn’t smoke today! So I felt Mad and sad today. I was about to smoke with this 18 year old men but I just went in the house! I tried very hard to turn it down. I love weed and very addicted to it. When I smoke my self-esteem goes up. I don’t know why but i always had low self-esteem ever since I was real young. When I don’t smoke I’m very angry and sad and when I think about when I was sexual abuse tears comes down my eyes. Snap Shots Comes in my head of me giving boys oral at the age 3-10. Well I also yells alot when I’m not high. Well I don’t know how long I’m gone keep this up. I’m trying but I don’t know if I can do i’t.
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3 comments
Very proud of you tear drop! Great start, I know it’ll seem very hard at first, but you have to keep trying. I feel nothing but anger for what so much of your so called “family” did to you. You truly just need a new way to cope, try some activities you’ve never tried, siting around to much will only allow those terrible thoughts to manifest in your head! You have to stay active, with friends maybe a new game, something you enjoy on the computer, take up a hobby, anything that can put a stop to those thoughts. Keep on staying away from those older guys, you’re a strong, mature young woman and I believe you can do this.
You’re doing wonderful, it’s natural to feel withdrawal. You just have to keep doing activities and I highly recommend a hobby, you need something to occupy your time that doesn’t include those older men or people that have even dragging you down! You Stay magnificent!!! 🙂
I just have to say it one more time, I am so proud of you and I am astonished at the strength you have shown, it is more touching to my heart then almost anything else. You truly are an amazing young woman. Stay strong