i dont know what to do with myself anymore

i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left i went right to her house. but i feel sooo bad for what did. i enable her. soo much. and i hate it. she is an addict. even though its hard for me to say that and it breaks my heart to know that. its true though. and i am the one enabling her to do so. i feel so fucking bad. sometimes i wish i never have enabled her and asked her to stop. but now its gone too far and i cant do anything about it. i just feel like crying. i feel like im the worst person ever. i know im not, but i still feel that way. me and her have talked about me being an enabler to her. and she knows i hate it. shes told me not to hate myself for it because its not my fault but it sure feels that way. i dont know what to do anymore. shes killing herself and im helping her. id rather just die and have her healthy than her sick and me alive and doing this to her. i feel like im killing her. and i dont wanna do it anymore.  it hurts me so much to see her like that. shes hurting too because of the person she is with. that person is hurting her sooo much and i hate them sooo much i wish i could kill them. she deserves soooo much better and i tell her that everyday. she knows how i feel about the whole situation. she knows i hate them. and she hates them too. but loves them at the same time. theyve been together forever. like a year and a half and thats long for a high school relationship. i have seen what they put my best friend though and how much they have hurt her. i cant stand them. i HATE them so much. but i dont know what to do anymore. i cant undo whats already done.  i cant stop crying anymore. i have been crying for the past few days nonstop. please God if youre out there please show me the better way and how to cope and handle this. because i cant do this anymore.