I had an absolutely amazing life for the longest time. I’m not attractive and I’m shy, but I had amazing and wonderful friends, very good grades, and I was happy. Over the summer I had to move across the country with my family. I am miserable here. Nobody talks to me, and they all look at me strangely at school because I’m punk and I have piercings and I’m not the most attractive person. I have no friends and no one to talk to. I tell my parents I’m upset and I can’t do this anymore, but they tell me it will pass and I need to go make friends. I’ve tried, but it’s not happening. I have no will to live anymore. I cannot stay here and keep living like I am, but I can’t leave. I can’t sleep because my mind does not shut up. I constantly blast music into my ears to try to drown out my thoughts, but because of that I am considered more of a freak. People call me a nerd and a genius because I’m smart, but they say it negatively. I hear them whispering about me all the time. I just don’t know what to do. I have a terrible life, and I don’t even want to live anymore. I feel empty and alone. I constantly feel like I’m literally gagging because I am just so completely ruined on the inside. I hide all of this, though. People think I’m fine, except my parents and my youth pastor. I have been a Christian my whole life, but I’m not anymore. I no longer believe in God because I was always there for him and He was not there for me. I have decided on a way to kill myself. I have the necessary equipment to do it. The thing is, I don’t necessarily want to kill myself, but I want to die. Or at least get away from here. I am just trying to make it to 18 so I can move back to where I came from, but I don’t think I can last 2 more years. I just literally can’t keep living anymore. I am done. I have nothing to live for, no one to love. I cannot keep living, but I don’t want to die. PLEASE, just help. Help me.