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My cup runeth over

by deadright

Well today, the place that said they have a replacement for my broken flow gauge misunderstood me and did not have the right one.

So Tuesday (tomorrow?) I will have to drive 80 miles round trip to a place that I know has what I want. My cup runeth over.

For a brief moment I thought about just running away and driving to a warmer state. I could take the money I had put aside for my cremation and use it to rent a U-Haul type truck one-way.  Well that sucked; it would cost me about $2000 and that does not include gas. That is $500 more than my Crispy Critter fund.  So that leaves me with suicide or freezing to death.

Maybe the evangelicals on this list are right and a higher power does not want me take my own life. Possibly it is because HE wants to give his son one last chance to shove it up my wazoo while loving me…of course I could be wrong. 😉

<Highly Bitter DR>


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lucy4 1/24/2012 - 2:13 am

I was talking to God just the other day. He told me to tell you he wants you to die in a warm place. The Lord Jesus Christ also wants me to tell you to enjoy a good breakfast first; take your pick. Pancakes, waffles, cereal, it’s up to you. If you don’t believe me, there’s other people here who also have a direct line to God.
On an entirely unrelated note, I’m selling a bridge in Brooklyn….how much money you got?

deadright 1/25/2012 - 3:59 pm

Lucy4. Jesus must hate paramedics. It is a well known medical fact that if you have eaten a good meal before you die, your body will tend to evacuate everything in it; thus the saying, “He shit the bed” meaning…he died.
I am buying and wearing “Depends” before turning on the gas. Even in death, you should be considerate of others that have done you no harm.

As for dieing being warm, not possible, I cannot afford to buy heating oil.

However I was considering driving to one of Florida’s nudist beaches, laying on my stomach, sticking one of those meat pop-up thermometers up my butt and taking a bunch of pills. That way, onlookers could tell if I was just sleeping or whether my goose was really cooked. 😉

Love that gallows humor. DR

PS, I may be interested in that bridge you are selling. Got any pictures???

lucy4 1/25/2012 - 4:33 pm

I can see the newspaper headline now: Man wearing adult diaper found dead on beach. Authorities are still investigating why a thermometer was found lodged in his anus. There is also no report of what the temperature reading was after the device was recovered.
About the bridge: there’s a bidding war underway among some members from the local chapter of The Flat Earth Society. You’ve missed out on a once in a lifetime opportunity….I’m very sorry.

adastra 1/25/2012 - 5:19 pm

“I’m selling a bridge in Brooklyn….how much money you got?” …haha…..depends what kind of bridge?

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