Today, tomorrow, forever.. Allways..

Today I left my house For the first time after such a long time. I went to the dentist to get my braces removed, the last time I went was a year ago. I was on anti depression medication and life seemed fine, I was fun to be around at the time. since then I fell of the face of the earth and well most of you know how that feels like.. Well anyway I went to the dentist, my eyes burned from the brightness of the daylight. By the time I got there my eyes looked a mess. I went in to see the dentist and sat down in the big chair. The doc came with his assistant. His assistant was a nice beautiful girl I Talked to and became friends with, we used to talk alot, I think she left her boyfriend for me awhile back but by that time I was starting to feel the weight of the world breaking my back since then I haven’t talked to her. As they examined me, the doc and her talked.. I think she was expecting to talk and to get to know each other. I heard him saying things about me and asked her what she was thinking.. She said it was a long story.. Now what he said was what was she thinking leaving her ex for me. The convo stayed at that level for awhile.. He talked as if I wasn’t there.. She just stayed quiete as he trashed me with his words.I couldn’t look at her after that. I felt so ashamed.. I really liked her too. After awhile I went out to eat with some friends, when I walked in the restaurant people stared at me like if I didn’t belong, as soon as I looked at them they looked away like something was wrong. Ugh it wasnt a good lunch for me. We then went to walmart and people stared, people laughed at me.. I didn’t know what to do, I dont want to be noticed anymore, I look worse then I thought. Im trying my best to stay positive but a person can only be put down so much at one time. I don’t know if this is worth it anymore… This is by far the worst day of my life.. I’m not sure what to do to anymore… I don’t want this for the rest of my life..