Hi….I dont know may be whatever i am saying looks so stupid but i want to say.
After i lost my mom, the same month i met a girl on internet. Her Name is Muyasar. She was so beautiful and preety, Specially her eyes like a sweet cute angel. No one want to see tear in her eyes. As i start to talk i get know her heart is already broked. i was so confused which person who can make her heart break. She told how her bf not trusting her and always use bad words for her. I tried to make her understand if a guy who can abuse her then its not your mistake. he have so much bad luck that he loosing you. Slowly slowly we start to talk everyday and i fall in love with her but i can’t say. I was thinking she will think bad about me that i am saying her like that. But i was also getting that she also love me.
One day she proposed me and that day was best day of my whole life. I start to love her so much more than anything, more than my life and she also. Then i get know she is not like normal girls, she have some decease bcoz of that she can’t take breath sometimes. when ever i saw tears in her eyes i always get mad and do so many stupid things to make her laugh, happy. Everyday waiting to see each other, waiting her calls, her messages, they are the best ever moments of my life. Everynight before sleep i saw her cute sweet innocent face when she was sleeping. i just lost there. I promised her i will never leave her no matter whatever happen. My love will never get fade for her. Her family not like forenginer. but then also we saw so many dreams togeather. in all those time, her family alwaays scold her for marriage but she always made excuses.
At last of year, she told she said yes for marriage bcoz she not want to hurt her parents. her parents did so many thing and so much money n her operation. she not want to make them hurt again, bcoz already she run from home for her first bf and that time her dad beat her so much like a mad. she was near to death bed that time.
She was crying infront of me i get mad and said when time will come we will see please dont cry janu, i cant see u like that. we will see.
Two months passsed she changed her room to other city, and her family said her to meet guys and choose. when i get know i was wordless what i will say her. But cant see teaers in her eyes. i always change topic and made her happy. With this hope she will not do and will try to talk with her mom about us.
Atlast they choosed a guy for her, she was crying so much infront of me on cam, and i ccant cry bcoz my dad was in front of me. If she cry so much then got problem in breath. she start to live with that guy’s sister house. but we both not left to talk. bcooz we love each other so much. Soon her ring ceremony fixed. i cant do anything except wait for come her online. i not hve her address so i can try to go to her. she told her future husband is 10 years older than her and one time already divorced. when i said why she said yes for marriage. she told me she love me so much but cant be togeather so no matter who will going to her husband. After hear this i remain speachless.
One day she remain at her old room, we thought we can again see each other once again, but bad luck light not come. I was get so much mad when i know she tried to kill her self bcoz all what happening with her. she want to live with me but also cant hurt her parents. she think her parents love so much in this world more than anyone. that night i was standing on road was calling her number aagain again like mad and was crying. but thanks god she was ok, not soo much serious. she ate all medician that she hve in her room. Next day she was in hospital.
after 2 months his time of wedding come, that day really i was cried like a mad person from morning. i not cry on death of my mom that much but that day i was dead I was thinking about her How she will be. Before her wedding I promised her I WILL WAIT HER WHOLE LIFE.
She get married. i lost everything, my smile, my heart, my reason to live. Everymoment i was thinking about her, every second. after one week she come online. she said me sorry but i said i will wait dont say sorry, if i really love u so much we will be togeather one day, even we met when we get old. she told she get fight with him in first month of wedding. so many times they both fight but i cant do anything. From the day of her wedding i Cry everynight till now. She get pregnant now, so soon again i get hurt, but i controlled myself. i start to lose my health, i get weak, i Lost My head hairs in 23 year age. All asking me what happened to you, i make excuses.
One day i got news she cant have baby, again i become so much said when i know she crying. but after di treatment she is pregnant now, she get little changed. she always get angry with me. her mood always in bad. She suffering so much now. after know all i getting more hurt, more sad more weak. one day i saw her wedding pic in her profile. i saw some her hugging pic on wedding day with her husband more i get hurt but i never talked with her about it.
I never saw her in real only saw her in cam, i never touch her, but I LOVE HER SO MUCH THERE IS NO WORD WHICH CAN DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE HER. SHE HAVE HER FAMILY, SOON A CUTE BABY ALSO. I KNOW I NEVER CAN BE WITH HER THEN ALSO I AM WAITING HER. I WILL NEVER LOVE ANY OTHER GIRL AGAIN, I WILL STAY ALONE WHOLE LIFE. BUT NOW THINKING AFTER HAVE BABY SHE WILL BE OK. I MADE HER ANGRY SO MUCH, MAY AM NOT GOOD FOR HER. HE(HUSBAND) CAN MAKE HER HAPPY BETTER THAN ME. SHE IS WITH HER MOM AND DAD NOW, BTW SHE WANT TO WITH HER MOM AND DAD. SHE HVE ALL HER RELATIVES THERE. IS SHE CHOOSE ME SHE HVE TO LEAVE THEM ALL.
NOW I WANT TO DIE. I AM WAITING HER AND WILL ALWAYS, BUT SAME TIME I HVE HOPE ONE DAY WE WILL BE TOGEATHER, SAME TIME THINKING SHE WILL NEVER COME. BEFORE ME SHE SUFFERED SO MUCH NOW MY TURN COME TO SUFFER. 99.9% CHANCES THAT WE NEVER CAN BE TOGEATHER AND 0.01% CHANCES WE WILL TOGEATHER. I WANT TO DIE, I NOT WANT TO ANGRY, I NOT WANT TO LIVE MORE. PLEASE GOD TAKE MY LIFE
IF I WILL DIE NO ONE WILL CARE. IN MY FAMILY HVE 2 MORE BROTHER SO DAD WILL BE OK. BUT IN MY LIFE I MADE HER EVERYTHING, BUT SHE NOT WITH ME. TODAY 244 DAYS PASSED FOR HER WEDDING WHEN I LOST HER ….
JANU I AM WAITING YOU, LOVE YOU
3 comments
“I WILL NEVER LOVE ANY OTHER GIRL AGAIN” …… are you sure?
if i told you that you would love this girl in the future that you met on cam, you would call me crazy yes? And yet, when you ‘allow’ life to happen and you meet other good people like yourself, chemistry will happen and love will start again for you trust me.
Don’t despair, first love is always hard, and you seem like a very good person. You will find your partner (maybe a few more) and then you will be ready to settle down.
I wish you well.
thnaks, but i already decide……no other girl, this girl had smthing special…..
but till death whatever happen will not accept any other…
if any other girl cme to me i feel so much odd
you sir know what love is! you understand- there are very few people who understand- they know, but they don’t understand. you will wait for her for many more years and she will never come back for you.. but you’ll still love her. that’s so meaningful- your curse is a gift- you will never be phased by bullshit again as long as you live. Marrage is a financial agreement-its a buisness transaction and in most cases it has very little or nothing to do with love. When you lose someone forever, you see their true value- you see how much they really meant to you. you really love someone and you should be proud of yourself because you have the copassity to love, and your suffering has meaning. fuck that “theres other fish in the sea” horse shit! I know where you’re coming from, man- you aren’t alone in being alone.