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What should I do?

by shtbnhk

I keep starting and deleting everything I write. I try and articulate how I’m feeling and what I feel I need to do but I just can’t. It’s not so much that I’m insecure, mostly just that everything I try to explain doesn’t come out right. Writing has never really been my strong point. I really need someone to talk to but there really isn’t anyone here (not the site but where I live). I tried to open up to my mom but she’s was so oblivious to what I was trying to tell her. And I can’t really blame her because she is going through so much in her life; from my dad cheating on her, my little sister having learning difficulties and my older sister – who is a constant worry after recovery from anorexia two years ago. I used to confide in this one girl, but even though she says I can trust her I know that every time I tell her something to do with me being depressed and suicidal she feels awkward and avoids me. I don’t know what to do and I recently started cutting again. I’ve never really done it but in the last four days I have made five cuts all along my left arm. I’m just want to talk to someone. I can’t explain how great this site has been for me but I’m just finding it difficult to explain everything I’m feeling right now. I guess I just don’t know what to do from here… any ideas? Maybe I’ll just see how things go if not I’ll just have to give writing another try – sorry for the hassle

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muspelhem 1/31/2012 - 3:45 pm

From here, your writing skills seem fine.

If the problem is that you don’t know what you feel, I dunno how to help you, I’ve had the same problem myself.

If the problem is putting it into words, try this exercise:

Open a word-processing program like Wordpad or something. Write nonstop for 10 minutes, it is really important that you keep writing, don’t stop. If you get stuck, just keep repeating the same word over and over. Afterwards, read through what you wrote, if you feel like it.

This exercise should make you better at finding the words you need to express how you feel.

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