hi every one last nigth I seriously concidered to suicide intil I started chaking and my heart beging to beat so fast and I was horified by tbe idea and still is,well my name is mohamed and I am from morroco,I used to be a muslim but I am not anymore because my fucking fother intreduced the idea to me when I was 18 and I don’t know to thank him or blame the mother fucker for that because he is living happy and carless of what is going on in the this fucking world(politics,wars,greed of the human) now I am 25 I belive that since I was intreduced to the idea I was in deniel (stages of greef,in the cases of life changing maters) but last year I really beging to think and anylise all that shit and start browsing youtube videos for athiesem and psychologie and what we are and how the human beings works “feeling and holps and purpose of life” and what I found that the humans we are like machins we are just hormons and electricity and we have no real control or free will because we can be easely controled so I despite. the human species now and this hol life I don’t want to live to work or eat or to fuck some chik or even love because I hade my appearence dreamgirl when I was in highschool then I hade my caracter dreamgirl after that and I wonder what ellse is ther maybe some girl with caracter and appearence then what? live happelu ever after and have kids and work in the systeme(wake up in the morning go to work get payed get suplies eat fuck have a shit go to sleep,i wont even be abel to raise my kids what an animal behaiver!!) I am so depressed and its have been months sins I went out the house,meet a friend or have some fun,I am opsesed with this ideas and can’t think of anything elss,fother,youtube what have you done to me,I miss the days wen I belived I was fearless,happy,and full of life and now this hol life seems like a lie like I am living in the “matrix” what the fuck the tv have done to me this western cultur realy fucked me up and I have no one to talk to,because no one I think would understand and I wont do that to them if they are happy why scrue them up? even my fother I wouldn’t do that to him even he did it to because he is a sample man first generation of athiesem and I am the second??! what the fuck I am talking about? but this sharing thing realy take my mind off the dark things! maybe lonelyness and isolation what is doin this to me,maybe I need to get envolve in life again? get friend, have sex(yeh I am a vegin by choice because I lost the urge to get entiment with someone since its just a hormonse and a survivel shit to do.oooh that feeling of fear and stress is massing with me and I feel like to throwup,well I am going to try to sleep it off now and if any one can help me please do because I don’t have any one to talk with about this,and I am concedering to see a psychic pardend my english and thanks for reading this and please responde even if just a “hi” bye
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-Hugs-
Losing faith can be a very difficult experience. I’ve been an atheist for many years and, for me, I take it comfort in it, but I understand it can be very hard and each person handles it differently. I think that my perspective on atheism is that there is a great deal of freedom in it. I won’t go into the details of it as I am sure you’ve heard plenty before and it sounds like you are grieving a loss right now, which is a hard thing to help anybody through with words alone.
I think that getting out there and doing stuff can only help. The longer I stay cooped up the worse I feel, so I hope you can find a chance to get outside and maybe socialize. It’s a scary prospect sometimes but it can make a big difference in the day-to-day.
Ultimately getting some counseling will probably be the first major step in trying to pull yourself out of the depression, so I hope you’ll look into that.
Best wishes and I am thinking of you <3
Hi (runs to hide behind a tree as you turn around) No one’s going to be hiding from you. This is a place where you can’t hide, and where there will always be people listening.
I cant say i empathise, but i know that losing faith is painful, it changes you whole world, especially when loose faith in yourself as well.
I can’t be very ressauring as well words alone help no one, but what i can do is tell you how to get better. There is that possibility that you can get better and live life once more Why not take it.
For one you have a lot of anger in you. Sports can be useful then. There’s football, Wrestling, Martial Arts, Basketball a lot to choose from. Sure you might not be good at these. But they do help a lot, and you can become good at these. You can also make some friends from doing this.
Mohamed you might not know this but the shaking is anxiety. Its the worst type of depression which only gets worse. As you don’t seem to far into anxiety you may be able to pull yourself out. Get some therapy and counseling. The counseling will help you calm down and for therapy they will give you pills which stop the shaking. They really do help.
Take Care and Stay Strong
Shadows