some times I think I’m crazy. My mental status has been smashed into a million pieces. Some times I wonder if it’s normal for ur family to mentally abuses u. Some times I even think I deserve it or that it is ok for my moms husband to sexually abuse me. I’m afraid of the dark, I jump and shake when they are near, waiting to be scolded and told how worthless I am and how fat I am. How much I eat or don’t eat. when to sleep and how long. when I forget to do the dishes I’m told On how retarded I am and how much of a freeloader I am. They keep telling me that I must of been filthy when I lived with grandma. Then he’ll say let me guess that’s prob why she died aint it. all that cause I missed the dishes. I clean the house every day. and he sits on his ass and does nothing. and mom around he always says that she don’t have to help cause she works all day and he don’t cause hes no house ***** plus ur the child so that’s the child’s duties to do every thing around the house. I’m 24 now. I think I’m going crazy. I see things now and hear things. I cut but it’s not helping. I guess there right that’s all I’m worth in this world to be a slave.
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6 comments
you are not crazy but your mum and her husband is, dont let them get to you, they want you to think you are worthless but your not, your an amazing person do whatever you have to do to stay positive.
Well, find a job and a roommate. Move out and stop by for visits. It’ll be like a new life, I promise.
Abuse is something you’ve been taught to tolerate and more damaging to you. It is in no way acceptable…verbal, or physical from anyone for any reason unless your in harm’s way.
Like Qwerty said, move out…create your own rules to live by in your life and I guarantee anything your family has instilled or projected on to you has not been the support and love you are so deserving of. So practice cultivating within yourself. Take care.
It would be a relief for you to move out. I did at 18. I ran away at 16. I wish i ran and never looked back.
I agree with Qwerty and softsoul.
Remaining there only makes you accept the abuse more.
Somehow you have to find a way to get out and get away from that damaging environment.
Might not be wise of you to even visit until you are well healed and have your own things together.
Your mom’s husband is a sorry excuse for a man. And if he has sexually abused you you should report him and get him locked away if possible.
Because if he is treating you like this I am sure he’s not treating your mom much better.
thats just it mom gives him every thing he needs. hes already been in prison, he’s a registered sex offender he’s been in prison for 12 years he just got out 6 months ago. she married him when he was in there. he treats her with the out most respect but takes his frustration out on me. moms 12 years older then him im 12 years younger he has power over me and he loves it. I dont know I might just snap and we will never hear from him again.