I’m not sure if I don’t want to kill myself because I finally have a better life, for right now, or if I’m just to numb to feel sorry for myself.
For my art class I had to paint something with emotion… It took me about two days to think of something to paint since I’m almost completely emotionless.
In every painting I have it has a heart somewhere incorporated in it. I’m not sure why but I always paint hearts. I guess it’s because I’m always looking for love. I don’t know, I just always feel empty, like I’m missing something. I’ve never had this feeling before, not until my last girlfriend broke up with me.
That’s just it, I constantly feel like I’m comparing any situation in my life to a time or point in our relationship. I’m so fucken pathetic because if it. I just can’t get over it, I’m stupid, I know.
I guess I just miss her to much. It’s just been painful. Heart break sucks. I don’t want to be a teenager anymore because of it. it just hurts without her.
Whatever.. I’ll get over it. Just another pathetic part of my life.