i dont want to live!!!!

right im 22, i live in england and this is my story.

i met the girl of my dreams and we fell in love and after 8 years she is leaving me

i just dont know what todo anymore i feel like my whole life has just been flushed away and im losing everything. iv gave so much up for her and now im having to start all over again. originally i lived in newcastle then i had to move to london with my parents and i had to start over again and there i made friends and stuff then a few years later i met this girl and we fell in love and she moved to london togo to uni and to be with me.and after her studies we moved to oxford where she was from. and we had plans to get married and have kids and stuff and now shes leaving me im having to move away and start over and its got me so depressed i fell like i cnt cope with the pressure, iv lost my soul mate and my best friend and i cnt see the light to move on, this week has been hell for me everything is going wrong and its all building up, everyone ive spoke to has told me things will get better and you will move on. but i dont feel like i want to move on. i cant see where i go from here. the pressure of having to start over make new friends get a new job(which is hard these days) and staying out of debt and to try to forget about her. its all too much for me to handle. ive always thought i was a tough cookie and nothing would ever reduce me to even thinking about suicide. but i am and its hurting me soo much. its on my mind so much ive even planned it out, where when and how, even down to the letters i would leave. i dont know why im here and posting this because i dont know if im looking for advice or reassurance about what im thinking. i just dont know i really cnt see a way forward….. this week things just keep popping up and making things worse and i really cant cope…… i dont want to hurt anyone but i dont think i can cope with how im feeling..