Ah, it’s not going better.. 7 days. 7 days without my best-friend and lover… 7 days..
I’m just 7 days without him and i can’t imagine more 80 years like that… Why we couldn’t just be happy?
You guys are speaking here about wish to die and so on, but i am sorry… i am hurted as hell and when i type here i feel like i talked with someone…
Now, when i don’t feel any anger, black minds and so on – all i do is remembering our perfect moments..
And it’s not good, because im going back to suffer again. But the good thing i’m not blaming myself anymore.
If he really loved me as he used to say – he could forgive.
We were kinda talking again today… And yesterday… I tried to ask him about his feelings yesterday, but he said “my feelings is ok” . What is that fucking answer?! And when i tried to ask about what he thinks about all this situation and so on, he just said “i was feeling better and better, but when u start talking about it i feel worst” . WHAT A FUCK IS THAT BEHAVOUR ABOUT? And i thought i know men well ! i don’t! Then we talked kinda normal…
And today we were speaking, but like some strangers, but still speaking… And i have a family problems and he knows that.. And i need his support here so much.. I sent him like “will all these all problems on my head ever ends?” …. And he disappear again.
Fucking shit.
Maybe my friend was right.. i need a lover.
Once i was speaking at night with old driver and he said “listen to me Yound lady – broken heart can be heal only by another love, even that love is for forgetting another one”. Maybe he was right..
3 comments
You cant turn a boy into a man,
he was right,
find that special person who will reflect the love which you hold within your heart and the love you yearn he shall give to you,
Out there.. we all have someone just waiting for us.. all you have to do is just find him.. he will love you for the rest of your life, for all time even. do not waste time nor should you try to grasp what one does not hold.
dammit.. i think i will give all my love for some time to the only one “man” in my life, who never leaves me, never run away and we will love each other forever – MY JOB..
just hard to have two free days !
There is no one and there is no forever.
And those who stay together for a lifetime have long stretches where they do not feel connected to each other.
Forever love only exists in either fairy tales or some realm beyond our current perception as humans.
Enjoy who you are with in the now and do it responsibly.
Another lover does not salve the burn, it just temporarily soothes it.
the pain is only conquered by letting go of the ideal and the idea of love and more so focusing on companionship and sharing with someone whose actions show that they do care for you.
And that can end as well.
Or you can keep seeking the forever. Maybe you will meet someone who is as dedicated as you and find it.
At least that is what I hope for you.