Past a few weeks after crash with me and my Love. I divorced with him, he didn’t with me. Really insane situation. He still needs time and time after time making some short conversation, but as a real Black Scorpio i am living my life without him and not hoping anything.
Before this boyfriend i had a very very very very very big symphaty. He is so great: very funny, smart, working as a reanimatologist, so beautiful, but… usualy he’s just bastard – telling everything what he thinks and talking very dirty things. Last summer we’ve been dating, but he never kissed me as french or never asked to be with him, because we are working together… We just used to be together and totally enjoying. When things started to go uncontrolled, like we really crushed to each other, i made it over. I started to make a relationship with my Love. And we used to talk with my symphaty during all that time and he told he hates my Love. My Love hated my symphaty. I love them both.
When i came back from my Love after a month i met my symphaty …. I really believed that i forgot him and no more feelings after not seeing each other and having perfect relationship with another man, but that moment my heart started to beat and i lost a breath. I knew i still have feelings.. So i told him.. Straight and cruel as he likd to do with me:Â “You know what? I’ve been running to another part of the world to forget You, but here You are – i see You and i still in love with You”. He smoked 10 cigarettes and asked me to come for coffee, but i had to leave and later.. He just deleted me from his life. He thought i am still with my Love. I deleted my Love – because i think he doesn’t need me.
My symphaty is a really asshole. He can come and say: “You look ugly today, change make up”. Or “Your boobies touches ground – change bra”. Or “You have period – You smell like a fish”. It’s his style.Usualy he says very black things to people and i am being angry on him all the time. Running. He catches me. Apollogizes. Laugh. Kiss. Hug. Another jokes. Damn I miss that bastard. So he deleted me. Not answering a month. No calls, not sms back – nothing. Disappear. I saw him and asked me to explain his behavour and all he said was “i got depression, didn’t wanna talk”. I was really worry that something happened to him so i am still angry. As always i told him everything.
No matter how many dates or boyfriends i had: I always had my symphaty in my heart. Now when my Love left me the only one person i want to be with is Symphaty. But he deleted me! Damn.
One time i could have him.. We’ve been dancing all night, drinking, talking, kissing and went to sleep upstairs… First second i just fall to dreams and woke up in the morning 😀 😀 😀 Jesus Maria! Everybody laughed as hell. They knew that it was perfect moment to start something… And i just fall to dreams.
So I am asking my Angel Guard Help me to get back my symphaty. Just for talk. Make him not delete me. Because being with him I start thinking logical, no emotions for others, being happy and laughing all the time. My symphaty is my drug. But he doesn’t understand that. I need him as water now, to handle this hard period. I love my Love, because he would be perfect husband, father, friend. But i will always want my symphaty because he is my Drug from Life.
I will do everything to get back my Friend. Friend who makes me want him and hate him at the same time.