My recent thoughts.

People are getting confused, they know something is up, but the don’t have the slightest clue of what. I have not written in a while, and I miss it. I can’t express myself, and no one will know what is going on, there is just a whole bunch of missing pages in this story; if I can even call it that anymore. I have been sad, sadder than ever. I can’t stop asking myself, “When will things be better?”.I can’t explain what is going on in my life for, there is nothing. Just the Same Shit, Different Day. Time is just being wasted more and more. I can’t go on any longer, so I plea. My words are not heard, so I sit. That’s about it, Different Day, Same Shit. I should have never messed up, and I have not been able to stop thinking about it. How bad I messed up, how much I just want to be gone. So. So bad.  I can’t quit thinking, this shouldn’t have happened, I should not be here now, in this hell-hole I have to call home.  It enrages me so much, it hurts me so much, every time I ever think, its always about death.. I’m not sad, I’m just not, in any way, shape or form. Happy. I have no reason to be, other than these beautiful people I call “Friends” . It hurts so bad that I just want to leave, more than anything, but my “friends” won’t let me, because they love me, and I for them.  I couldn’t hurt these people, I can’t leave now, I created a pack, I can’t destroy all of this. I wouldn’t be forgiven. I wouldn’t forgive myself.

Because of Fred G Acosta Job Corps, I cant quit think of suicide, I don’t have the will to live, I have gained nothing out of this program except for the endurance, not to kill myself. Thats all I gained. Thanks JobCorps.