I just overdosed a couple days ago and havent been able to get suicide of my mind. It seemed like i was doing good i used to go to the er about three to two times a day for suicide attempts swallowing batteries and overdosing on pills i tried to hang myself once didn’t work out to well cause we live in a freaking apartment. I dont want to die and its hard to even admit when im suicidal to people cause it feels wrong saying it. I havent been admitted to a mental hospital cause mostly i lie my way out of it. Im scared of going back because i have a lack of self control and it can be traumatic. They force you to take medication by injection they’ll hold you do and do it against your will. plus your put in there with not just suicidal people but homicidal people as well one time a woman got slapped by one of the patients. So im not a fan. The things that sucks about being suicidal is having to hide that fact because youll get in trouble and having to lie about the scars on my wrist from burning and cutting.
What makes me feel suicidal is the fact that i live in the shadows of other people specifically my family. They all have friends that like them they go to school basically they have a life and i dont. I think i will always be alone in this world with voices and all my other mental health related problems. Im 19 life should be so much better than this and its not. Everyday im struggling with suicidal thoughts and i cant turn to anyone because people see me as the boy who cried wolf and think im only doing it for attention
Right now im pretty much fed up with the world and its problems. I wish i could just sleep till all the pain goes away
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Hmmmm…. Thank you for sharing such vulnerable and open thoughts. I can understand what u mean. I’ve finally reached out to a couple people by saying, hey I’m fucked up in the head and depressed and I’ve been crying everyday for a year; will u please help me?? It’s difficult to ask for help and admitting u need it in the first place. Idk how much comfort this will add but I don’t think that what your family thinks really matters. They are just people who happen to be “related.” Family is a concept that people are conditioned to recognize as important just like we are conditioned to not talk about suicide or anything that makes people feel uncomfortable. Heaven forbid people cry to one another. No matter how much we care about that person, we are still wishing they would just stop?! It’s making me feel uncomfortable! … That last statement is probably irrelevant but whatever. If u wanna talk more u can email me at amoradae@msn.com
May u feel okay today. Hugs!!
hey passionfruit3 your not alone a lot of ppl and even me have tried suicide but you know what im glad i failed to attempt it. Look i may not complelty understand everything you are going through but i do now this you have a purpose in this world but you just gotta find it.Like maybe find a friend to gives you a reason to keep on going even though you have had enough of this damn world.Please Don’t try suicide anymore i can’t stand the thought of another wonderful person could just slip out of our lives.