Never Had A Normal Life

I messed up my life at 7 years old. I learned what everything a adult thought of was, and my parents were getting divorsed. My mom hit my dad, and they always cussed eachother out in front of me. We were in the car once, my brother opened the door and was SO close to jumping out. he was leaning out of the car. If we hadn’t pulled him in, we would have seen him dead on the highway. we were screaming, and the one who didn’t help pull him back in was my mom. she yells at us, and nearly killed my dad. My brother cuts himself, and went to a mental hospital. He takes pills that make him emotionless, so he won’t hurt himself. He shaved his head yesterday, and he still has scars from cutting himself. He says the f word to me when I make him mad, and i’m different then everyone at school. I hate rap and mainstream, and I am the only one who doesn’t go crazy when we do something fun in my class. My other brother is an idiot, and my dad is the only one who is nice to me.My mom ruined last summer by getting drunk every night and talking about my dad. Kids make fun of the small pimples on my forehead, so I cover them up with my hair. I put my really long bangs to the side, looking like i have bangs and covering them. I am the only one who realizes who boring life is and how only the same thing happens, and people don’t even talk to me online.
I’m still only a 10 year old girl.

I hate everyone, and want them to die. I wanna die myself. I’m afraid of what i’ll grow up to be… my only skill is art. I don’t have any friends. I try to talk to people, but they ignore me. I wanna die, but I can’t kill myself. I love my dad, and I don’t wanna do that to him. I have 1 wish, but I know it will never happen. I keep searching, but I know it will never come true.