For the past two years my life has been completely screwed over because of the sickest most evil selfish woman i have ever had the misfortune to meet. We had a beautiful baby girl togeather. Afterwards when I signed the birth cert she said to me “hah, now youre gonna pay” but I only realised after she kicked me out three weeks later that she only wanted me as a means of having a kid and when I signed the birth cert she could then feel free to kick me out of the house and take me to court and try to get as much money from me in child support as she could. All this time she has also tried to keep me away from my kid. I have missed my girl growing… she is now 17 months old. Life has become extremely lacklustre…. I dont find enjoyment in anything. Society is geared up to help women with kids and dads are kicked to the wayside… like we are harvested by women so that they can have kids and then charge us and marginilize us from our kids (I thought it was going to be a happy ending, I wanted to be a dad). I reckon that we all die in the end anyway so why not just cut to the chase and end it?
I have to put up with some dickhead at work that condescends to me all the time. That too makes me feel like shit.
I just want a way out.
My problem now is that I want a way to do it that will be quick but I am afraid of what comes after. I dont want to be in this life anymore but I am scared to die so I try to convince myself that when we die we are 100% unconscious so we have no realisation of the fact that we cease to exist.
I just want out so badly. I feel like shit the whole time. I feel pathetic and shit.