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sick of it all

by philwantsout

For the past two years my life has been completely screwed over because of the sickest most evil selfish woman i have ever had the misfortune to meet. We had a beautiful baby girl togeather. Afterwards when I signed the birth cert she said to me “hah, now youre gonna pay” but I only realised after she kicked me out three weeks later that she only wanted me as a means of having a kid and when I signed the birth cert she could then feel free to kick me out of the house and take me to court and try to get as much money from me in child support as she could. All this time she has also tried to keep me away from my kid. I have missed my girl growing… she is now 17 months old. Life has become extremely lacklustre…. I dont find enjoyment in anything. Society is geared up to help women with kids and dads are kicked to the wayside… like we are harvested by women so that they can have kids and then charge us and marginilize us from our kids (I thought it was going to be a happy ending, I wanted to be a dad). I reckon that we all die in the end anyway so why not just cut to the chase and end it?

I have to put up with some dickhead at work that condescends to me all the time. That too makes me feel like shit.

I just want a way out.

My problem now is that I want a way to do it that will be quick but I am afraid of what comes after. I dont want to be in this life anymore but I am scared to die so I try to convince myself that when we die we are 100% unconscious so we have no realisation of the fact that we cease to exist.

I just want out so badly. I feel like shit the whole time. I feel pathetic and shit.

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2 comments

OB1 2/27/2012 - 10:27 pm

Hi Phil,

Your story sounds absolutely terrible. I can’t imagine how you must be feeling. It saddens and angers me that there are people in this world who actually think and behave like the mother of your child does. There is something very wrong with some people.

My honest opinion is that there is nothing after this life. However, if you go ahead with your plans, there is someone very important who will one day realise that you no longer exist. And that person is your daughter.

Yes, you have missed the first 17 months of her life, but why miss the rest? Phil, you need to continue living and continue fighting (in the appropriate way) for both your daughter and yourself. What has happened to you is inexcusable, but your story is not finished.

I’m not sure whether you are in the US or UK but there are organisations and people out there who can help advise and support you. There are other men in your situation and you need to seek them out. Your daughter needs and deserves to have access to her father, irrespective of what her mother thinks. Equally, you are entitled to see her and be her dad.

Why should you feel pathetic because of how another person has behaved? If you can be strong and do your best for your daughter, despite all the crap you’ve been through and might suffer through until things start to improve, then I’d say you’d be well entitled to feel prouder than most men will ever get the chance to be.

U.N. Owen 2/29/2012 - 8:23 am

I know that story all too well.
I miss my kid but I do not have to deal with his demonic mother any more.

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