When you are bored, you know you are doin’ it wrong.

And boy, BOY am I doing it wrong.

I have no traumatic past, troubling future (at least in anyone else’s view), or any of these other socially acceptable reasons for despair. I grew up with a normal family, normal income, normal everything. I really have nothing to complain about in my past. But, holy shit that’s what sucks. I am fucking bored out of my mind with everything. Everything is so bland, unappealing, status quo, daily grind.

So, obviously it’s not particularly anybody’s fault for my current predicament, except for myself. But that’s the funny thing. I readily accept the fact that I have driven my life into a steaming pile of NORMAL. I’m still pretty young too. I have the ability to change my direction, but for some reason I am unable to. Maybe I am just too lazy to make my life worth living.

When thinking of making a change, a few things come to mind. Which direction should I take? How interesting is it? How much EFFORT does it take? Is it worth it? The third question seems to be my biggest problem. I don’t really care to put effort into anything. It doesn’t seem worth it.

Suicide crosses my mind now and again. At a glance it seems to take the least effort of other prospective paths. Still takes some effort though. Too much for me to be bothered with. Funny isn’t it?

In the end, I know that I’ll probably continue on bored and frustrated without changing anything. Is it sad to accept this notion and do nothing about it? I bet a psychologist would congratulate me for such an epiphany, and then attribute my dissatisfaction to NPD.

I’m not really sure where I am going with this.