2010 – Best year of my life

This is a picture of me in the summer of 2010, on my 18th birthday.  I’m the guy in the middle, the two next to me are my younger brothers.  I picked this picture, because it was pretty much in the middle/peak of the best time period in my life.

Me and jackie became what I would call close friends in early 2009, like around march.  We had met october of 2008, online.  She was 13 at the time, and i was 16.  She lived in New York, and I lived in Mississippi.  Towards the end of 2009, things between me and her were doing great.  Like, if we had problems with our friendship, we would always work out a solution.  Sometimes we would compromise, sometimes one of us would realize that we were wrong and apologize to the other person.  I dislike the mentality that you have to stand your ground to the other person so that they don’t “walk all over you”.  I mean, it’s correct, in that you shouldn’t let people walk all over you.  But I think in a true friendship where both people truly care deeply for each other, problems like that rarely if ever arise.  That’s how it was with me and jackie.  We were willing to do practically anything for the other person, with few exceptions.  Because we cared for the other person, and didn’t want to hurt them.  Things went along almost perfectly for a long time.  And they kept getting better.  From like late 2009 onwards, thing were great.  Me and jackie would be texting almost nonstop everyday, we’d be IMing eachother on AIM, video chatting in oovoo/skype/any video program.  We would call almost every single night until we both fell asleep on each other.  We would call on our lunches at school as often as possible.  To sum it up, we were almost always in contact with each other.

We started to hit some rough times whenever she met Mikey in August, because she started taking away time from me and her to spend with him.  We had some arguments, but we eventually settled them.  And she started hanging out with him a lot.  He was someone she met in person by the way.  I’m an internet friend of hers.  Sometime later, I was getting increasingly jealous because she would constantly diminish the time spent between me and her in favor of this new guy named Mikey.  I forgot to mention earlier, I started to really like her (as in a crush) in like january of 2010.  At some point, it developed into what I believe was love, i don’t know when exactly.  So, when she told me that she liked mikey, and that he liked her too, I freaked out.  I told her all this stuff like how I hate him, I wouldn’t care if he were dead, and that she should spend less time with him and more with me.  And then she did something that was completely out of character at the time, she showed mikey what I had said about me not caring if he were dead and how she should spend more time with me.  He contacted me, and I ignored him, and then I got mad at jackie for telling mikey what I had said.  She apologized and said she wouldn’t do it again.  This occurred in November 2010 by the way.

Then came december, which is probably where it all began.  I wanted to surprise jackie with a nice present.  And she had always been complaining about how she doesn’t have a camera, and that she was borrowing someone elses camera to take pictures of stuff.  Basically, she needed a camera.  So, I proceeded to go buy her a camera for christmas and ship it to her house.  I bought her a decent one, for 85 dollars, and when I purchased it I told it to ship it to a different address.  So it shipped from walmart to her house.  I told jackie’s mom that i was going to be sending her a present and she replied “oh, that’s so thoughtful.  I’m sure she will love it”.  So when it arrived at their house, her mom was shocked because 85 dollars was too much to spend on jackie and that i was “weird”.  Jackie’s mom told jackie to stop talking to me because I was dangerous.  Jackie told me this, and said she wasn’t going to listen because she said she knew I wasn’t dangerous.  So she kept talking to me.

Then something really bad happened, it was at the time the worst day in my life, because it was the most traumatic emotional experience I had ever endured at the time.  On January 3rd, jackie told me she was going to go over mikey’s house.  So I reminded her (explaining why it was “normal” for me to remind her is a very long explanation, just know that it was not unusual for me to say that to her) not to hook up with mikey when she went over there.  She promised me she wouldn’t.  I remember after she said she’d talk to me when she got back home, I went on my ps3 to play nazi zombies with some online friends.  I finished and was messing around on my computer, when I received this message from jackie saying “mark….”   and i replied “yes?”  and she said “i’m afraid you’re going to be mad at me…”.  And i asked her what happened, and for a moment I guessed what it could have been, and when she said it, i was right.  She told me that she did hook up with mikey and that she was so sorry.  But she said she had to leave because her parents wanted her off the computer, so i started freaking out and having a massive panic attack and i was begging her to stay.  But she left, because her parents turned off the internet or something.  So I grabbed my keys, and I opened the door and started to walk to my car, when my mom came out and told me “what are you doing??? it’s 11 o clock at night, you’re not going anywhere”.  We had an argument, and I eventually just walked away from her even though she was talking to me and I drove away.  I drove all the way to the airport, because I wanted to see how much it would cost to go visit jackie.  Not to hurt her or do anything bad, but just so I could talk to her and actually be with her and person, because that would make me happy.  When I got there, the airport was closed.  So as I was walking away from the airport, she called me from her sister’s phone she took because her sister was sleeping.  She told me that she gave him a blow job, that he “finished” inside her mouth, and that he fingered her.  I remember what it felt like when she said that.  I asked her, why did she do it if she had promised me before that she wasn’t going to. She told me that she got caught up in the moment and wasn’t thinking about what she had promised to me.  She apologized profusely afterwards.

This is a good summary of what happened, I can never cover all the details.  If there are any parts that don’t make sense, just ask and I’ll explain it better.  I plan to write another entry for what happened in 2011, there is a lot.  January 3rd 2011 is where it starts to get really bad.  Thank you for caring enough to read this far.