I am constantly changing, going to and throw to and throw from a bad place and maybe an
overly good good, does that sound like bipolar to you? I am sick of having nobody understand me and not being a part of something, my friends dont really know me, well one of them kinda does but mostly ive just been trapped inside with my personality unable to show, Its Like ive been a big balloon full of something expanding and expanding about to explode. Ive talked about good and fighting for the good but I do fall down and this is one of those moments! I was in a place where I couldnt even talk, friends would come round and i would just have my hand on my heart and think of something to say but not be able to say it, they would end up giving me more nagativity ‘oh you’ve got no charisma’ ‘you feel unhappy alot of the time’ yeah i guess because i had the life ripped out of me by other people and a nasty ex girlfriend who set the road for me to the ultimate loss of self love. she loved me in the good times but then one bad moment on drugs and woosh she was gone, leaving nightclubs infront of me with other people, ridiculing me for feeling pain, rejection rejection ridicule ridicule laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh I just grew through that which led on to more of the same and became insecure i guess, extremely. so much so i couldnt have a voice and if i did have one which was based on pain wooosh more people were gone, I started hateing the world and became obsessed with having a good image which could obtain love, i managed it quite a few times in nightclubs and pubs but it never lasted, even if it did i was too fucked up to be able to have it. I became really good at filling myself with love before going out which would bring great results as it lifted me to who i really was but at the same time i was too fucked up to be able to take advantage of my opportunities but then made a hickup one day after spending another week lying in bed in agony by shouting at myself telling myself what i should be and how i was gonna be it, I shouted at myself for hours, maybe 2 or 3 just to drill it in ya know, this led to me losing it completely and started in my blackout as my mind went duuuuuuuuuu holding on to every girl who came past like i was with them and loved them forever, totally gone, one reality to another both opposite and all I got was a woman about to humiliate me infront of the club, luckily a guy told her not to but i was unaware completely gone i thought I was still getting good from life like i had been previously tuning myself to get so would of fell for it. when your down and your bad and your lost this world turns bad, and good people who dont understand will do you bad and still raise there head in some kind of victory, like there good because of it. I am trying so hard to heal but then i realise that the wounds are still there and still holding me back,. although i have healed somewhat because i would never of been able to post this a few weeks ago. my ultimate goal is to just feel ok with what ever i say with what ever i do as long as it is true I guess, but i became a perfectionist in a land of imperfection. I dont really live for fullfilment, I have none. I just live to have a good image and feel good about who i am, with a view to someone else doing so too i guess. The trouble is that makes you all rigid instead of flowing, I can flow but I need to know that anything bad will just disintergrate and disapear, do you think love exists for men with issues? men who are fucked up and fighting to unfuck? do you think love runs deep enough to love deeply or is it just a face on the surface?
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Reading that again I guess it ended a bit negatively, well a fall from grace for me has been usual, I’m gonna share all of myself with this site, the good the bad the beautiful and the … nah!
i definitely think love runs deep enough! I know after a breakup you feel raw and broken inside,and it’s hard to believe that anyone could love you,like the person you used to be with ran off with all the good parts of you.:( but it’s not true. i think everybody is a little “f’d” up. really,everyone has flaws,okay? you sound like a really nice person,that’s the most important thing. you’ll find a good girl. just don’t give up.sometimes it takes awhile to find the right person.
Thanks. my trouble is I guess that i was so down and so broken that i couldnt and still cant really structure my life, I dont work, the only thing i want to do is be a singer, I have no desire to needlesly work in some job just filling my life with crap, people work just to fill there time really innit, my times filled with thoughts of meaning and true battles. My thing with women is I wish you just found men attractive for there bodies, it might sound bad to you but I dont think it is, like a love by default, everybody should be in love with everybody not just one person in your life at one lucky moment in time, that makes love scarce (sp?) rare. women should be in love with men and men in love with women FULLSTOP. otherwise you get what we get in this world people living there lives depressed and unfulfilled while all the time searching for fullfilment in things that are just time filling instead of fullfilling. IMAGINE a world where everybody was in love with everybody and there was NO rejection. BLISS. rejecting somebody sexually is one of the worst kinds of rejection that there is, simply because we are sexual beings and social beings, no offence but women on the whole especially where im from its kinda by default that they have no interest, whats up with that? I’ll tell you whats up with that, they’re too obsessed with the good they get instead of the good they give, there too obsessed with waiting for this magical man with utter confidence to jump out into the limelight, yeah they’ve got good to give then, but thats not love its selfishness, sorry but it is. Its a lack of love in humanity which unfortunately has taken hold and got a grip and people are tuned to only love the rich and the happy. this autamatically has a flip side and the flip side is that you can be unhappy as a man and wanting attention off women, believe it or not you do when you dont have any for so long -loving attention! all while the reason your unhappy is that your not getting it. no matter what anybody says we all want to be desired by other people, its the ultimate form of acception but unfortunately people have grown to think sexual and loving acception by default is somehow bad. Nah its not bad, rejection and the keeping back of love, thats the enemy in the mist. I dont want to just wait for the right person to come along, I can love anybody, yeah pretty much anybody, well i can certainly give it and show it why cant ANYBODY love me? I dont want to wear a mask all the time just to appear all good so to draw attraction from the female species. I want to be accepted lovingly and sexually no matter what and if that was to happen bad things and depression and suicide wouldnt exist. If you see ANYTHING bad about me then you can know that its a lie. and its pretty much the same with all people but people listen and move by the lies that worm through the human race, see a bad face think a bad thing WRONG. I recently was seeing a girl who was also a friend and she had been in a bad place, so naturally through her depression she put on weight and lost self esteem, she thought that she was ugly, what would most people do? if i said i thought i was ugly to a woman thats it see ya later, wheres the good in that? If somebody feels bad then you can make them feel good and i did make her feel good and i treated her as best i could like somebody i could love, and that love showed, i didnt just say nahhh your not really my cup of tea love and brush her aside like she was nothing, I gave her a feeling of being wanted when she wasnt. THATS WHAT LOVE DOES. its not just about 2 people and the sooner the world realises this the better. marrage is universal. the things ive got in me, believe me ARE special. I can give it and im doing so now, and i can give it freely because free is the nature of everything that is good. why cant someone give me something for free? why cant someone give me LOVE for free? down or up rich or poor bad or good happy or sad WE ALL DESERVE LOVE.
Wow. That was an incredibly desriptive introduction to an incredibly loaded question. The short answer is – yes.
The thing about a good image to obtain love is that you can fool everyone else but you cant’ fool yourself. If you really want a girl who just loves you sexually, well I don’t think that’s hard to find, especially if you really can love ANYONE. If that’s true, well, I’m jealous as hell because I think that would make life a lot easier. It’s true, we all deserve love, but it’s not that simple, nothing ever is. We all have to work fr love as well. No one will give you love for free because it costs something to give it. Like the price you paid with your ex heartbreak, misery, loss of self love. With all that at stake, do you blame people for being careful?
Although to me it sounds like you oughta take a break from women for a bit. It sort of sounds like you don’t know what you want… and until you firgure that out, you’re not gonna get the right woman, who is happy with you and you are happy with her.
You’re doing real good, by the way.
I know what you mean about working and having a job that matters rather than just a 9-5. I really want to do something that matters and actually makes a difference with my life. I think it’s amazing you want to be a singer. 🙂
I think I understand what you mean(kind of,i’m a little confused) but i think there is a difference between just sex or lust and love.for me personally i have to love someone before I do anything with them sexually, and i can’t love someone if i don’t know them-one night stands aren’t something that i would do. but as far as finding a guy attractive, there is nothing more attractive to me than a good sense of humor,and someone who treats me and everyone else well. i think our personalities shine through. someone who is really handsome/beautiful but stuck up and rude,if your around them they might seem attractive at first but their personality can actually make them less attractive once you really get to know them. at the same time i’ve known guys that i didn’t think were really good looking at first,but totally fell for them later because they were so good to me. i agree that everybody should treat everyone with kindness and be loving,but i don’t mean that to mean that everyone should just sleep with everyone else. everyone is different but i know if i’m in love with a guy,i don’t want to sleep with anyone else. i think that’s the way love should be. thoughts?it’s okay if we disagree,everybody’s opinions are different,and i know a lot of people who are comfortable just being sort of “friends with benefits”,it just depends on the person.but someone who is holding out-it’s usually because sex means more to them,when they finally do share that with you,it is because they love you,and not just for the sex,they genuinely want to be with you-not just anybody. you sound like a really sweet guy with a lot of love to give. i’m sorry things are tough right now,but love is out there. you will find a girl to love. just don’t rush it. it’ll happen when it happens.:)
Thanks for the replies, Havent been on here for couple of days, I was kinda thinking that i may of used capitals a bit too much, I dont mean just sleeping around with everybody, I mean just less barriers and a wider aspiration of attraction. I felt like ive needed to rush it because ive been that close to suicide which is probably something i cant do, if i could of done i would of done by now, but ive been pretty much paralized from being able to change my life and bring new people into it, i need new people in my life, but my social skills declined years ago and i guess the bad place ive been in kinda gives you a bad face on the surface sometimes. Im just tired of having to cover up, Tired of living a life so different from everybody else’s, tired of being alone really. Ive got a fear of abandonment which is usally creating the abandonment, what am i suposed to do? I need to create a new life, the only thing i know how to do to do that is re creation of myself and investing in myself, but as far as getting a fullfilling life at the moment, my options arent many. people should be attracted to everything, i really believe that, its because bad things arent attractive to people that bad things are strenghened, everybody can be loveable to everybody, if you think somebodys not worthy then your probably the one who’s not worthy yourself, I know this because ive for most of my life been deemed the unworthy one. bad things are just lies, get past the lies and you’ll find the person, see the lies as truth and you’ll turn away and lose your loving side, your good side, and thats not a good thing, and this is pretty much my problem, its been the way for years, people see the lies as my truth without knowing anything and thats why most attraction is weak. If you need perfection to feel love then maybe your love isnt that perfect, I just want someone with me in life, whats wrong with that? someone who shares my dreams and aspirations. bad things are just inflictions, If you see a bad thing in another and let it bring a bad reaction then you give that bad thing its power, this is why love should be solid and good should be solid. true good go’s to bad places, true love loves people in bad places, the absense of this is pretty much why alot of people are on this website in my opinion, its certainly a reason why Im here!
I agree with you,I think a lot of us would be feeling much better if we had healthy love in our lives,from friends,family,and/or a significant other. just having someone care means everything sometimes.you seem like a really nice guy and I love that you can see beyond just skin deep. I know a lot of girls would love that quality in you. I believe you will find the right girl.maybe it just isn’t the right time yet. i think sometimes people’s lives don’t line up right…i don’t know if i believe in fate really at all but i believe that sometimes you do find that person that you are perfect for at the time in your life and their life when they are ready for you. maybe the girl you are meant to be with and you just aren’t at that place yet,but I believe you will find her. and in the mean time,we’re all friends here and you can talk to us and we’ll help you get through it. there are a lot of really great people here and caring about others and being there for them is a form of love. so we’ve got ur back.:) theres nothing wrong with wanting someone to go through life with. I think everybody wants that. just don’t give up hope,you’ll find the right person. 🙂
yeah thanks, I just need to change my life and pretty pronto, sometimes i say what i think are good things that are maybe seeming like bad things, like im fighting to get control of my being, fighting to become someone i havent been, fighting for re creation as apposed to suicide. I was in a state where i knew i had been in a bad place and i couldnt accept my bad place, which really is the ultimate of bad places, I couldnt post on websites, still now Im on facebook and i dont say anything, not because i havent got anything to say but because I just dont want to say anything that draws bad reactions or shows me in a bad light, Im fighting for trust and i do gain it but then i fall back again or have done really up untill now. so whens this magical right time then? when Im all fullfilled and dont really care and have no needs or wants? Ive been there before and had romances and girlfriends, but they werent the right ones they were just the wrong ones clinging on to my right place that gave me a right face, will i ever have a right face again? Im trying to, believe me I am, but im not sure that right is only when its right, maybe right comes when your in a wrong place and they’re able to see through that wrong? sometimes people live there lives in a wrong or bad place, sometimes you just cant get away from it, what does that mean?
by the way i didnt mean that in a derogotory (sp?) way, when your in a wrong place you need a real good person, when your in a right place you can get any person, it doesnt make it right just because they want you for that right place, this is basically the falldown of all attraction, attraction isnt love, attraction is selfish based on things just suited for you instead of suited for them. I can change peoples lives, but you know what? people dont come to me to be changed, and thats what leads to my lonelyness, not because im not good enough but because they dont see the goodness of me, well one day soon it will show because im leading my life to total goodness, Ive had all the badness and ive been through lots of badness, and that badness clings to you and makes you bad, whats love if it cant love the people inflicted by that badness? this is where people go wrong, they think love is just at the top of the ladder, they cling on to people at the top of the ladder, they love not the person but the confidence and energys that person has, if they lose that then they lose the love and that person, that isnt love, love is must stronger than that
this is lots to think about.but yeah-i didn’t mean the right place in life to necessarily mean that everything is good,sometimes you meet the person you are meant to be with when everything is falling apart. i just mean that,when it’s the right time it’ll be the right time,and not a moment too soon.but i do think it is important to be whole and complete in yourself too first,so your heart is open and ready for love when it happens,and also so that you are happy with yourself,and not completely dependent on the other person to make you feel whole and make your life worth living to you. I think that’s too much pressure to put on the other person,it’s not their job to make you complete,you know? am i making any sense?so i guess what i meant is-everything in your life doesn’t need to be perfect,but you need to be okay with who you are,the other person shouldn’t be your sole reason for living..it doesn’t matter if everything in life seems like it’s all worked out-i think love happens when it happens, completely on it’s own terms,and sometimes even when you are at a good place in your life and happy,you still have to wait for the right time for love to make it’s appearance.but i really do think that someone like you who is so willing to show love to everybody-i think it’s completely inevitable that you will find someone. i love what you said about people thinking love is the top of the ladder,I think that’s really insightful. everybody needs love,when life is good-but esp. when life is bad.:) i’m glad you are opening up here.:) i understand being afraid of what other people will think and rejection,but everybody is afraid of those things at least to some degree. I don’t know you,but from what you’ve said so far I think your really nice,I would be proud to call you a friend. i don’t think you should worry as much as you do. it’s hard to not-i know. but you are right about the worry itself being part of the problem. i don’t think there is any reason why you should worry someone wouldn’t like you.just be yourself.:) then the person you are meant to be with will be able to tell that it’s you.:P i don’t think it’s ever good to pretend or put on a front,because it’s almost dishonest-youre tricking the other person into thinking you are someone your not. so when you do become comfortable and start to act like yourself,you aren’t the person they thought you were. so maybe then it isn’t as compatible as it would have been if you would have been yourself and met someone who loves you for you-someone you can be yourself around. but i think you have a really good head on your shoulders. i hope i’m helping..i’m trying. but i’m just 19,I think that you are a lot wiser than I am. 🙂
Hey, yes you are helping, its great talking to you! I didnt realise you were just 19, grow up fast nowadays lol. People do think im someone im not usually, Ive been on a dating site for about 4 years ever since my ex, everybody was always happy this happy that job this job that, they still are! so i look at at and say, are these people just projecting the things they are attracted to to try and appear attractive or they really living lives of bliss? I guess in the beggining I always thought it was all real, So naturally it was difficult to show my true face and place i was in, Its like they want everything to be perfect and you have all these dating guru’s going do this do that be like this be like that and it doesnt do anything apart from lead you in the wrong direction, almost like your not right so you start not accepting yourself and if you go to far trying out there things, then its more likely to bring bad results then good, so i dont do any of that of that anymore, men want to sleep with women were pretty much made for it, so it can get ya down if your not very good at getting them.Ive been fighting for self acceptance and trust and im pretty much finding it so my real qualities are showing. when you are broken completely broken people in general turn away from you which just makes you more broken because when your broken your heart and mind are more open and sensitive to pain. if you ever see a weak or lacking in quality man, then treat them like a good man, if you ever see a good man who looks strong and is confident and always smiling then ask yourself why, sometimes its just because they have been gaining all the way through their lives at others peoples misfortune, this means there a bad man in a good mans shoe’s, they’ll think there a good man but the good they’ve got is only good for them not for anybody else. they gain from it but there just losers dressed up as winners who need to change but dont think they do and so never do. this is why i love people more really when they think that they are bad, I think more of them the less they think of themselves, the complete opposite of the ways of the world, people suffer because they’re good enough to suffer, people dont suffer because they’re not good enough to suffer,the more you hang on when you are feeling suicidal the more good you are and the more wisdom you will grow in, pain and suffering and god (I dont know if you believe in god?) lead to wisdom and enjoyment leads to loss, yes its enjoyable but part of the reason the world is all screwed up and lacking in wisdom is because they ‘run away’ from suffering in a bid to find something better, good lives always happy always gaining lead to little, people should know on here, that all the time your suffering, if you fight from it and dont give up and make your priority to gain in goodness and all the things you dont seem to have, then you will be choosing the road to a better life, oh and that badman dressed as a good man who’s always smiling and seeminly in control, if you ever meet one and your attracted find out about the ways he gained in life before you give yourself away ok!? I know one,maybe two, i grew up with him, (the 1st one) he was always brung up badly by his parents, but he was winning in school fights always getting respect, always bullying and pulling people down, usualy me! lol my best friend but worst enemy, and so he grew up in a possitive way and was always confident and thus always getting girls from a young age, and now he looks flooded with self love, its all over his face, women love him to bits and hes always getting attractive women, he’s probably destroyed a few, never cares about em ofcourse, he’s just all about what he can get. so if a man always smiling think twice and find out why, it might be for good reason but it most likely if he;s trying to pick you up all flash that he’s a bad man in disguise, so dont go with one of them will ya! 🙂
wrote that while extremely tired after taking some zoppiclone! Im glad ive got to the point where i can talk more openly and freely, but im far from perfect, still a human lol
some of my stuff is really good and insightful but maybe some are things I havent quite nailed yet! I am always looking into things and anilizing but I am thinking of writing a book or making a webpage as i write lots of stuff about the world god and humanity that i could certainly like to share. I went out this morning and bumped into an old friend who lives down the road, he’s a bit dodgy and owes me twenty quid that ive just written off really, if he wants to be friends again then he can bring it if not then ive not lost much. but I was glad with how i felt, no fear, My work is obviously paying off, Ive gone from suicdal last week to feeling like im strong again, up up up! 🙂
that’s fantastic you feel better.:) I really do think it comes and goes.sometimes things seem so impossible-and whatever is standing in your way in life seems so big-i know what’s that’s like,I feel pretty small right now. but if we just hang on and don’t give up,I think it can get better. and when things are really bad that’s when we can learn to appreciate things so much more and understand what is important. I think writing a book would be amazing. 🙂 I’ve always loved writing ever since I was a little girl,it’s a dream of mine too. If you start a webpage let me know,I’ll check it out.
lol,it’s okay,I think I understand what you mean,it made sense to me I mean,zoppiclone or no.:) you make a lot of good points,thank you for the advice.:) I actually do believe in God,I’m a strong christian. you could ask-why are you on this website then? but it helped me so much when I was in a really dark place,so i really want to pay it forward if I can.I think the bad things that happen to us happen for a reason,even if we don’t understand why,and we can choose how we react to our pain-we can react negatively and let it get the best of us,or we can use our pain to help people who are going through similar things,and show them love so they know that they aren’t alone. so that’s what I try to do. it doesn’t mean that I’m not hurting but it means that I might help someone else-I could help save somebody else’ life-that to me makes it worth it. I know I’ll understand better someday. but also-i’m very open minded and even though I’m firm in my own beliefs,I love talking to others about how they feel too,and it’s okay if you disagree with me. I am wary of guy’s motives sometimes and I understand what you mean for sure. but the most important thing to me is God,and if a guy doesn’t feel the same way,then I know he isn’t for me romantically. I’ve never dated a guy who wasn’t my friend first,I think that’s really important too,and I try to always stay on good terms with my exes too. anyway,sorry for babbling.:) but i wanted say that,like I said before-sometimes girls hold out on sex because we do care about you,and we care about ourselves,and we want to know you first. I believe that we give a little piece of ourselves to the person we’re with,every time. so it is a big deal and I wouldn’t sleep with just anybody just for the sake of the sex itself. I think if you take the time to get to know a girl,learn about her,what she likes,and you share who you are with her too-if you can make a strong connection and you love her for her and she loves you for you-then I think that makes sex what it was meant to be-it’s different when it’s with someone you really love,rather than just a one night stand. so hold out,k? you’ll find the right person,just do your thing and be kind to everyone like you are,and take your time. girls see the beauty in that,trust me. i know that i personally look for kindness before anything else,and theres a lot of women who are the same way. hang in there buddy,your going to make some girl really happy someday. 🙂
thanks for the kind words, your really good to me lol 🙂 its 7.20 in the morning and i havent been able to get to sleep yet, wanted to go somewhere tomorow aswell, I’ll write this and then its bed! Its great to hear your female point of view about what women like, Ive always kinda been blinded maybe by always seeing dodgy guys get the girls, theres this guy who I went school with, he was thrown out of his parents house and had nowhere to stay, I let him stay at mine and he robbed me and my bank account and my mums jewellery box and her wedding ring, went to speak to him in a club to ask him why he did it and he just headbutted me lol going back along time but i havent forgoten that believe me even though i kinda forgave him years later, but he got married and has 3 kids, all the time Ive lived a lonely life of suffering and the only real serious relationship ive had was with the woman i spoke about above,, the guy down the road who go’s out robbing cars at nighttime and robbing his friends and using people, he’s got a lovely blonde attractive girl and a kid, married too. maybe i got kinda twisted in what i thought they wanted, and yeah i guess a bit jeolous, I appreiciate women like kindness now but i think most of the time its self respect and how much you like yourself, your best qualities come out then, but people have some kind of stigma about low self esteem, alot of people havent had it much and dont understand that it doesnt make you exactly the person you appear to be, it just limits you and keeps the real you tucked away. Ive been changing myself so much, filling myself with the love of god inviting him in and learning to trust my heart again because it was that damaged, and also creating a new self image that i actually gave myself an accent, a new kind of way of talking, can you believe that? pretty powerful stuff huh! anyway my problem is when i start getting close to a girl which i have been doing lately chatting on msn, I start pulling back like i cant let what i want to say come out, its like a lack of freedom and i find myself being selective about the things i say really overly too much, so i take away parts of my true personality, I sent her a message earlier about how i cancelled meeting with with her the other week, I felt she might of been upset about it, like a kind of rejection, so I just told her it wasnt because of her and i hoped she didnt think it was rejection because it wasnt, it had a good effect and we were then chatting on msn for a few hours, a really enjoyable chat in the beggining but i still couldnt talk to her like i do you, openly, i could in parts but then i said something i shouldnt of said at the end, asking her oppinion about osomething ive always knew I shouldnt, like showing an insecurity which maybe comes across as a weakness, it just popped into me because i was feeling a bit low come the end but maybe ive learnt some wrong lessons and id just thought ahhhhhh another one bites the dust, i just feel like anybody can abandon me for the smallest of things, so its hard to really show myself fully and feel good all the time i guess, I do know now though that women appreiciate honesty, i think aslong as its not overly negative, so i’ll send a nice message tomoro and let her know a bit more about me on a deeper level, if it doesnt work out it doesnt, but its uncanny because we keep doing things at the same time, like message each other at exactly the same time and 1st time we played scrabble we actually drew .. ive never ever drawn a game of scrabble! lol anyway things are looking up, I think ive gone through the hardest time of my life! anyway i think the thing with men and women is, we’re complete opposites when it comes to sex, we can sleep with somebody like a one night stand and feel good about it , where as if you do you’d probably feel bad about it lol why is that by the way? I guess because you’ve let someone in who maybe you shouldnt of and been easy? right? but if we dont get it then we feel like we’re someone maybe not good enough, which is actually partly a reason why many guys are trapped in a world never having girlfriends, its a vicious cycle, you start off with a bad life that takes your self image and gives you a bad self image which means you arent confident enough to crack the womans code and show your best sides and because women dont want you because of that bad image it keeps the bad image in power. so on one hand women are protecting themselevs by not being ‘easy’ but on the other hand your just inflicting the inflicted and blessing all the rich … have a think about that! is your protectiveness such a healthy thing for the world or is just healthy for you? this is why somethings got to give, divinity believe it or not, is actually women being unselfish because divinity is unselfish hence the word divinity and dropping all barriers towards sex, I dont think they teach you that one in church lol when i said everybody should love everybody I meant it, I bet you didnt know, heaven was an orgy 🙂
by the way if anybody steals these words and pretends to be me, they will be the false prophet.
“anyway i think the thing with men and women is, we’re complete opposites when it comes to sex, we can sleep with somebody like a one night stand and feel good about it , where as if you do you’d probably feel bad about it lol why is that by the way?”
You obviously aren’t very observant. Women are just as sexual as men. Sex is natuaral, man or woman, we’re built that way. But if women sleep around, we get called sluts. If men run around, they are cassanovas. It’s a complete double standard, but that’s due to the stereotypes that men imposed on women, so don’t go blaming women for protecting themselves.
Also like to point out we have more at stake. We’re the ones who are gonna get pregnant. I wouldn’t relly on too many men to be useful in this situation.
PS. Kindly learn to paragraph. Many thanks.
why cant you delete posts on this website? I shouldnt of said that, ive got loads more truth and explaining and wisdom that comes directly from god to share, I pretty much just wrote a massive post, I want to share it but im not sure if its the right time, im either gonna post it or create a website called devineloveguru.com. or themassivetruth.co.uk. 🙂
nah sorry but your wrong, thats your selfishness talking, cant you see that? women are here to grace men, are grace comes from women, YOU GIVE US GRACE. thats not a bad thing but you give us grace usually only when we have grace. if all men were graced all men would be attractive, men suffer Im sorry i dont mean to offend im not an offensive person because women see a lack of grace that comes upon men when they are not graced by women and thus keep there grace to themselves. if you knew about god, and about truth you would know why men were created first, and why women were created second. I am VERY observant but my choice of words may not of been good there, im not perfect. women were created 2nd as a gift to grace men. but because the world was infliictd by the devil at the beggining of time in a curse, devinty got pushed aside and wrong ways of being and thinking came into the human race, this is why the world is not like heaven. men who are graced by women are naturally attractive enough to contrinue to gain grace, but men who are not graced by women lose that attractiveness and thus continue to not be graced. I am not offending you, you just saw it in a bad way, Oh we’re the ones who do this … you live for yourself, and you say its not selfishness? you can forget those lines you hightlighted if they didnt make sence to you, but hopefully this explanation will.
so above before you gave me a good compliment and then you give an insult, reacting good to a good and bad to a bad, thats your dark side coming out, thats why you havnt seen god. bad things are inflictions theres no need to send any more, but if you think any man isnt worthy of your grace then maybe your grace isnt what it should be.
Sometimes i speak greatly and sometimes i speak poorly, this is life, but which ones more important, the great side or the poor side?
its usually the poor side with many people because a badness rules them in there hearts, its the worlds nature its why you need the cross, you see a bad thing and react badly and the good dies, when bad things over rule good things you know you have a problem
im not here for fallouts im here to be myself or to try to be but sometimes that isnt pretty, other times its bliss.
Your welcome.:) i’m glad I’m helpful,yay! 🙂 I’m gonna get a little opinionated now though,but don’t worry,i’m just being honest,i still like you.lol:) I think honesty is important-your right. so i’m gonna tell you what i think,and hope your still my friend when i’m done.lol.:) k. All women are different though. I don’t think you can lump us all together in one group and say well,this is what all “women” want.because yeah,we’re all girls,but we’re also individual people who have different opinions and feelings about things. I have friends who are very sexual,and about one specifically,we jokingly say,”you sleep around like a guy” because she’s broken a lot of hearts,and it’s just about sex with her,and that’s her choice- because that’s what she wants for herself,and I respect that.I wouldn’t do that for myself,because i have different beliefs but she is entitled to her own opinions and it’s her body,so i say more power to her. she’s not letting anybody tell her how to be,she’s doing what she feels comfortable doing for herself,I respect that immensely. i don’t think men and women are all that different. I think there are sensitive guys who care and(lol one_day:P) cassanovas. but it’s the same with women,some of us are more reserved and some of us choose to be more sexual. but it’s not about anything we “owe” men. lol,but I actually do find that offensive. It’s MY body,and I believe my body is God’s temple.I wasn’t put here for the sole purpose of some guy being able to get off on me,not matter how his opinion of himself is. sex isn’t just about men and I don’t think we’re being selfish at all-it’s our bodies. if I don’t want to have sex with a guy,why should I have to just to make him feel better? if you don’t want to be with a girl,do you think you owe it to her to have sex with her anyway?does that make sense? it doesn’t to me,esp. if we are following the bible,because the bible says we are to be pure and obstain from sex until marriage.I might be wrong,but I think men tend to have a higher sex drive,so maybe that’s part of it,idk.but you are held to the same standard as me as far as purity goes,regardless of libido,I don’t think that’s any excuse. but aside from the bible-having sex with someone you don’t want to be with makes you feel cheap,and I kind of think it’s pressure from guys saying things like,”oh your being selfish” that makes some girls worry and have sex when they don’t feel comfortable and don’t want to,and that makes me mad because sex is a big deal and if you want to sleep with everyone as a guy or a girl-that’s your choice,and i respect it,but if you don’t,it should be respected too. I think people should respect it just as much if someone-again,a guy or a girl-decides they don’t want to,because I think you’ll agree-it’s our bodies,it should be our choice,regardless of our gender. I’ve never slept with anyone when I didn’t want to,and I never will,no matter how his ego is.
I also do believe in the bible,and it’s okay if you disagree 🙂 but I don’t think God ever said,”sleep around,don’t be selfish!”if fact,the bible completely goes against that. so I would love to know where you got that.cause I’ve read the bible cover to cover,and I’m trying my hardest to be pure and follow it,but that’s my choice,and we were given freewill. I understand and respect others who choose differently for themselves,but I think they should afford me the same respect. I’ve made my share of mistakes,I’m not perfect,I would never say that.but it should be our choice,don’t you think? you never said you were a christian,(you mentioned things out of the bible but i would love to debate with you in a constructive and respectful way because i don’t think you can take one thing from scripture and ignore the rest to form an opinion)and it’s okay if you aren’t a christian.but i’m curious if you are,because I would love to know where you got that info,about sex.I think people should have more respect for themselves,guy or girl. God loves us all the same and we are all called to be pure and respectful to each other.whatever your choice about sex-i think we should all be able to make our own choices based on our beliefs and ourselves,and if someone else doesn’t agree with my choices,then that’s their problem,not mine. does that make sense? and grr honey,i don’t believe women were put here just to grace men. we are all equal in Christ,there is no man,women,jew,or greek. (Galatians 3:28) In Christ we are all one,and you are no better than any woman in any way,nor are we better than you.
but instead of worrying about what you are going to get out of it,I think you’ll do better to focus on what the girl needs and wants. then she’s a lot more likely to reciprocate. you talk about selfishness-i think it’s selfish to try and make someone do something they don’t want to do. thoughts? and a *hug* i’m glad i can talk to you and be frank,but i always respect your opinion and it’s more than okay if we end up having to agree to disagree.:) i’m young-what do i know? i just know that i have enough self respect to not let anyone tell me what to do with my life,and that includes sex. I’m a christian,and I do my best to live that way,by the bible,not by anybody else’s standard,and certainly not some guy’s.
I just checked back and reread your post above and i wanted to add some stuff. i was just being honest and I felt like I had to stand up for what I believe in too,but i realize I might have sounded harsh and I’m really sorry for that. i wanted to reply back just incase I was too grumpy in my last post.you are still awesome you know. 🙂 just because i disagree with you doesn’t mean that I suddenly don’t like you,okay? i read what you said above about being afraid you’ll say something wrong and then someone won’t like you. but i don’t think you can live that way. you have to be able to trust that when you are yourself with someone,they’re not going to run away. and i want you to know i’m your friend regardless of any differing opinions and it doesn’t matter what you say,k? i’m sorry again if I was too grumpy in my last post. but i don’t think you should be afraid to be who you are and also,you should be open to letting the girl be who she is too,she should feel safe with you,like you won’t run away if you suddenly disagree about something.communication is really important with all relationships. maybe you should talk to her about how you feel,how you really like her,and so your nervous you’ll say something wrong. what do you think? it’s up to you,but i know if a guy said that to me I wouldn’t be upset. it just shows you care a lot. i think everybody at the beginning of a relationship is a little worried and trying to be their best self,and it’s the phase where the girl is worried what the guy will think if he sees her with no makeup and bedhead. but once you are close enough that fear goes away when you build trust. i think it’s the most important thing. so don’t give up,k? i think you are completely right about bringing out the best in yourself and loving yourself first,changing low self esteem.you can do it.:) but don’t assume a girl won’t like you and stay away from her because of that. i think that might be why you are having a hard time-you go into a relationship thinking it’s not going to work,or the girl won’t like you,and so then because that’s your mindset,you sort of make it happen,that’s the outcome. i would call that girl (or IM,whatever) and set a new date and make it top priority,unbreakable. i don’t care if you get hit by a truck on the way there,lol,you make that date,k? because i bet you she is just as nervous as you,and right now she might feel like you don’t like her,or she will if you don’t go to the next date. hang in there okay? you can do this. you are a good guy. 🙂 i’m leaving over the weekend and might be gone next week so i won’t be able to reply for awhile. but i believe in you,just show the girl how kind you are. 🙂 and i don’t know about the accent. i think you should just be yourself. 🙂 take care.
hey, i havent been on here for a few days, had a fe tough ones!i dont know where your going but you can come and see me anytime. the reason i have different beliefs is that sometimes peoples faces can be decieving, you can get locked in a place where something in you betrays you, because it betrays you it works against the vision that other people want to see and thus like/love. the reason not being fussy is good is that you have more like, understand? so if you were to show like to the things in people unlikable you will be disempowering the bad thing in them that betrays them. this is real love. what you dont understand about me is that i have been to the worst place imaginable, it was so bad that it stripped me of the good things i used to have working for me, when someone doesnt have good working for them they are trapped in a badness and people see the bad, this strenghens the badness because they see the bad and treat you badly, this is why giving good to the bad is the act of divinity, and good is like/love. when someone has sex with you it makes you feel wanted/accepted and at the best beautiful, everybody has beauty so why dont you love it? when someone doesnt seem to have it its just that lies has pulluted it and thus makes them seem unlikeable/unloveable
its the devil who doesnt like you, so why are there people you dont like? i like almost everybody, infact ive regularly liked girls who just bitched me down when i was in a bad place, thats when you see the devil in them, understand?
i cant do this life anymore, satans stole from me again. i built up quite a bit of trust there but hes playing games on me. he actually phoned me up disguised as a friend, always his way! he came to me as a friend and then jumped into me from there evil, on the phone he said ‘bad news, jewells gone’ ..you see your lives, normal lives, im either underneath or im on top, right now im underneath, havent slept for 3 days and hes taken all my trust. how the fuck am i supposed to keep fighting and losing fighting and losing? I JUST WANT TO LIVE
I think I understand what you mean. I believe God loves all of us,and we should all love each other.that doesn’t always mean love in the sense that people think of it,all the fuzzy warm feelings. I think love in a biblical sense is to love even your enemies-esp. your enemies and the people that have hurt you. to forgive them as God forgives us,and to live like Jesus did to the best of our ability. to show love and kindness when according to the world,that person probably doesn’t deserve it. but by showing someone compassion you can change their life and show them love.it’s easy to love the people who are good to you,but doesn’t everyone do that? Jesus calls us to love everyone,to be kind,to forgive,and to pray for our enemies,and not strike back at them and be like them.and sex the way God intended is definitely beautiful.but I wish when I was younger that I would’ve known what I know now-I want to try and be abstinent until I get married.(here’s hoping.lol) I know it’s gonna be tough,but God is worth it.lol-although I’ve taken a lot grief from my non-christian friends,they think i’m crazy.:Pbut it’s a big deal to me,living for God. I think sex is a good thing,it’s a gift given to us by God,but I do believe that God told us to be married first for a reason,to keep us from pain.sex is a big deal,and I don’t know,I’m just basing it on my life-but I’ve never been in a relationship where someone,either me or the guy, didn’t get attached, because sex complicates everything. once you are married though,you don’t have to worry about anyone getting too attached or breaking up or anything. there is no heartbreak,and no guilt if you caused by being the one who breaks the other person’s heart,because you both took a vow and are serious.(not to say people don’t get divorced,
but by the time you get to the point where you are married,you both should be in love and really care and be invested in the wellbeing of your partner and your relationship.) I know that seems like an impossible thing,and it’s tough to wait.lol,my friend all say I’ll change my tune once I start dating again. I don’t have a boyfriend right now so it’s been good so far,but I know it’ll be really hard finding a guy who will wait because there are very few who will,and it’ll be hard to wait if I’m with a guy I really love.but I have God to give me strength. a good friend of mine goes to a christian college,I think i’ll start there.lol.:) but I’m trying to hang out with other christians and people with the same values as me,so it helps.do you go to church? are you around people of the same faith as you? I think that would be a great place to find a girlfriend,a wife.what do you think?it’s always good to find people with similar values and goals as you so you have a clear picture of what both of you want out of life,so that you can both build your lives together and build towards the same goal.I think sometimes that’s why divorces happen-people aren’t clear with each other beforehand about what they really want out of life. I pray about it and I believe no matter what happens,God is with us and it’ll turn out how it is supposed to. but sometimes there is pain before things get better. we just can’t lose our faith,even in the bible it says that there will pain in this life. we are to take up our cross and follow Jesus,we share in his suffering too.being a christian doesn’t make life easy,we still hurt like everyone else, (sometimes worse I think-I believe the devil does put more pressure on us because we are saved.)but we have God to lean on and he promises to never leave us or give us more than we can handle with Him.His strength is made perfect in our weakness,and you can handle this with His strength. He made you,you are unique and amazing and perfect just as you are. He loves us,and it’s pure love.
I’m really sorry about what happened with Jewells and about your friend. Is that the girl you were talking about before? what happened?we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. but please don’t give up,and don’t turn away from God. I’ll be your friend,I’m one person who cares. and there are so many other people who do too,esp. on this site. and christians all over the world-you aren’t alone.The devil is there-but he is no match for God,and you as a christian have the holy spirit in your heart.we’ve already won through Jesus. I forget that sometimes-but it’s true.I don’t know why life is hard-but we’ll
understand the reasons why someday too.the devil tries to make us feel isolated and alone,like we’re the only ones,but you aren’t. you can email me if you want to if it will help you k?
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I’ve been trying to go back to God in my life-I got lost for a while but things are going to be okay. they will be for you too. we just can’t give up. please don’t!! there is a reason why you are here,okay? you aren’t alone. *hug* i’m sorry things are so hard. but God never leaves us. have you heard the poem footprints in the sand? you should google it. it always makes me feel better. I’m going to be gone until the 8th but I’ll try and respond soon. please don’t give up. hang in there brother.:) and thanks for talking to me,this site has helped me a lot too,to put things in perspective and not give up,you have all helped me and given me renewed strength to hang on,just knowing people care. you matter okay? don’t ever forget that. all of us here care about you.