first time here

so this is my first post on this site, im not really sure what im expecting from it, iv been in counseling for 2 years and i have gotton worse i have severe clinical deppresion and its feeling like something i will never get rid of more and more each day, truth is im tired, of feeling like i want to die, of talking about ways to cope and what triggers my deppresion when theres nothing left i havent thought or said before, ive attempted suicide in december, and still my only regret is that i hadnt succeeded, there have been some difficult situations in my life and deppresion is in the family and my mum is chronicly ill, if thats supposed to have an impact on me or the way you veiw me, i know im probably just waffeling sorry about that, i think theres 2 different lines of a song that probably express this better “under this crushing wait im sinking, it never goes away the thinking, alone to face the rest of me, so long sentiment it doesnt matter now.” and “the words i want to say to you get lost before they come the only thing thats worse than what is none”