it doesn’t matter if I’m severely depressed or not
I’ve come to realize and accept that I genuinely don’t care for this 3D earthly experience
most goals I’ve pursued, I’ve come to realize it was because people had me believe it was important
everything I get involved in, I start to lose interest at some point
no dreams, no goals, no passions nor ambition .. nothing meaningful to hold on to
I’ve been told I should get a job in the meanwhile .. yeah right
in other words, get back on the sheeple track
people tell you that stuff cause they’re too immerged in this earthly experience
they hold on to it like this is all they will ever have, go out of their way to stay alive
they don’t understand that someone can simply not give a f-ck about it
I understand your will to keep going, respect my will to log out .. they can’t, they have to make a big deal about it
also, this place is run by ‘malivicious’ people ..
you either become a slave by allowing them to steal your time (9 to 5 ; 5-6 days out of 7) or you’re broke/homeless
from a spiritual progression pov, I feel like I’m going in circles & have to get rid of this body to move to ‘the next level’
I’m eager to visit other planets .. galaxies .. planes of existence .. this place is a bad joke
9 comments
I’ve stayed alive this long because a good friend lost her father to suicide & I didn’t want her to go through losing a loved one this way again .. Ive told her about my intentions (to have her mentally prepared) and apologized for the pain I’ll make her go through if I do it
I sometimes wish I’d stay a little longer but I’m getting closer to death as time goes by plus nothing lasts forever
life ain’t always beautiful. good luck in whatever you choose. I have a bus to catch in an hour. later..
That is the reason I am leaving myself. Some people like to be led, however if you can see the truth you are outcast….
Im with you why should I have to stay here doing what the world sees as acceptable.
you know what guys ?
suicides disguised as car accidents or homicides (suicide by cop) remind me of how hypocritical this society can be
if people were to find out the person they thought had died from a ‘regular’ death had in fact taken his/her own life, chances are they’d start to resent the person .. even look down on him/her
I feel like -in some cases- people are resentful because their egos/sense of importance cannot swallow the pill
my attempt earlier failed in epic fashion. it would have worked but I was interrupted. I can tell you the story but you will laugh and probably say it’s BS. now that I think about it, it had to be the funniest failed attempt ever. epic fail 🙂
Truthbetold I feel the same way depending on what day of the week it is. If one day you feel differently, whether it is brought about by treatment or simply a change in attitude, it won’t matter what others expect of you. This place will become a distant memory and you will be just like everyone else. The question is whether that is something you want. If not then there will be a feeling of satisfaction in that you see the world differently. Either way a positive outcome can be drawn.
rant:
I was gonna hang myself during the night of the 13th to the 14th .. I couldn’t do it home because there was nowhere I could do it & even if there was, I wouldn’t want a relative to find me
I had a rope w/ the hangman’s knot done & was heading for a bridge .. (un)fortunately, I was intercepted by fucking police on my way there .. had to spend 5 days in a psych unit .. it wasn’t horrible or anything, but I promised myself I’m never going back in there .. I’m gonna take therapy to ‘play along’, pretend I want to get better, be functional again .. basically all the bs meant to reassure them, only to try again somewhere before the summer
fuck me for being obsessed with death .. fuck them for having no respect for my death wish
@jaded1: I wouldn’t mind hearing it lol
@DOM: I was comfy in my skin when I started college .. it should have been a new start after a shitty, lonely adolescence .. fucking humans had to fuck that up by bullying me for 2-3 years when all I wanted was to get my degree & get the hell out .. I’ve gotten to a point where even being happy wouldn’t make me want to stay here, this place is a waste of time & energy