I am really losing it. Â I am researching suicide all day and all night and I can’t stop thinking about it. Â It takes all my strength just not to cut and more so not to kill myself or try. Â I would check myself into a hospital, but I have already been 5 times. Â Plus I am in the middle of school. Â I would lose a semester, for the third time. Â I just don’t know what to do with myself because I feel like the longer I tough it out, the closer I come to ending it. Â I wish I could stop this runaway train.