I feel so screwed up, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve had a cutting problem for years now, I can’t get a hold of it. I recently started dating someone and I still can’t stop. It just upsets him, I get patronized for it. Whenever I’m in a situation where I have no one to talk to and I have overwhelming emotions, it’s always what I turn to. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like I can’t take it anymore. I feel like a burden talking about my feelings, they must sound so trivial and whiny. If I keep it all in, I cut myself, but if I let it all out, I just bother the people I love. I can’t do anything right. I feel so alone, I always feel so freaking alone. I don’t know how to fix it, sometimes I worry too much has happened for me to be happy. I feel like any feelings of happiness are brief compared to how suicidal and alone I normally feel. I feel like a freak, I can’t deal with my emotions like everyone else, I have to resort to cutting. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I be an average teenager? I don’t know what to do. This must sound so repetitive, but the same phrases keep swirling around in my head, it’s torturous.
I don’t know what to do anymore, how do I make it stop? Why am I so unpopular? Why is everyone in my life so cruel to me? What have I done! I try so hard to be a decent person, what has it gotten me? Where has anything every gotten me? Why live life if you don’t enjoy it? What am I supposed to do with this? How will I ever feel content, I don’t know anything anymore. I have no one to talk to about my feelings, they ignore my calls and take me for granted. I don’t know what to do with myself!! I have nothing, no consolense, nothing to look forward to, hardly any friends, no support. What is the freaking point?! Why bother? Writing it down doesn’t help, nothing helps. Am I supposed to live on miserable? What’s
3 comments
I know how you feel,alot of people take me for qranted all the time:/When has beinq nice ever qotten me?You have me to talk to:)
pretty much everything you have said is exactly what used to go through my head. A lot of it still does, but less often. One thing that i have found, which may or may not work for you, is that I become more emotional and feel more lonely when I am bored or have nothing Interesting to do. That’s why I started to do self projects, which are like going out and trying and answer these questions, or learning how to do or about certain things that keep you interested. Like I am interested in the human mind, but am only a sophomore in high school, which means I don’t get to take psychology or philosophy until junior and senior year, so I’m learning about them on my own, which is helping me to identify and resolve problems that could be leading to me having such strong emotions, and causing me to cut. I’ve been cutting for 9 years and I am just now figuring this out. You don’t have to do exactly as me, but just go find something you want to earnestly learn about or are even just a little curious about and go learn. And if you have problems with people, try and do stuff with them that would bring you closer and help them to realize they can’t take you for granted. grr long comment sorry….anywhoo’s just try it out ok?
Nice guys usually finish last. If you are in a race with nice guys then you can compete on a level playing field without the worry of being screwed over all the time. That’s why you should choose your friend carefully. Like my namesake I decided just to run exclusively in grade 1 company. It mostly means being alone but the good ones are definitely keepers.