I feel so screwed up, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’ve had a cutting problem for years now, I can’t get a hold of it. I recently started dating someone and I still can’t stop. It just upsets him, I get patronized for it. Whenever I’m in a situation where I have no one to talk to and I have overwhelming emotions, it’s always what I turn to. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel like I can’t take it anymore. I feel like a burden talking about my feelings, they must sound so trivial and whiny. If I keep it all in, I cut myself, but if I let it all out, I just bother the people I love. I can’t do anything right. I feel so alone, I always feel so freaking alone. I don’t know how to fix it, sometimes I worry too much has happened for me to be happy. I feel like any feelings of happiness are brief compared to how suicidal and alone I normally feel. I feel like a freak, I can’t deal with my emotions like everyone else, I have to resort to cutting. What the hell is wrong with me? Why can’t I be an average teenager? I don’t know what to do. This must sound so repetitive, but the same phrases keep swirling around in my head, it’s torturous.
I don’t know what to do anymore, how do I make it stop? Why am I so unpopular? Why is everyone in my life so cruel to me? What have I done! I try so hard to be a decent person, what has it gotten me? Where has anything every gotten me? Why live life if you don’t enjoy it? What am I supposed to do with this? How will I ever feel content, I don’t know anything anymore. I have no one to talk to about my feelings, they ignore my calls and take me for granted. I don’t know what to do with myself!! I have nothing, no consolense, nothing to look forward to, hardly any friends, no support. What is the freaking point?! Why bother? Writing it down doesn’t help, nothing helps. Am I supposed to live on miserable? What’s