Do it already

Well, I’ve been sick all my life, asthma, allergies, skin diseases, mental issues, social issues. I was always a quiet kid and didn’t have many friends. My dad use to spoil me as a kid because I was youngest and always sick, I believe, until I started noticing that my sister wasn’t getting the fair attention, so I asked to stop. And he did. In school I was made fun of as a kid, then later I just became awkward to talk too. I was never considered one of the pretty girls. Boys only talked to be to get with my friends or my sister. When I was 13 I started getting attention too the point where I didn’t know how to take it because I wasn’t use to it… I became depressed and my mom took me to a therapist and put me on prozac, later lexapro. I stopped at age 16 because I became too relient on them.  The withdrawal was hell but I got through it… sort of… I’m 19 now. Every now and then I get stressed with work, my lack of friends, college, and I want to kill myself. I just can’t seem to pull through because of my mom, my boyfriend, and my family. I lost my brother at age 13 also. I can’t stand to possibly see my mom crying from the loss of another. I guess that’s why I’m still here.