I want to write something, but i dont know what.

Ive been sitting here in front of my computer for the past twelve minutes trying to decide what to write. I have this urge to completely spill everything from how  bad things have been getting to the color of my socks. My problems are petty, i dont like bothering you guys with them because i feel lame caring about losing my best friend when so many of you have such bigger problems. I wish i could help you all. I wish i could help everybody. I wish i make every insecure person feel confident, i wish i could make every poor person richer, i wish i could make every insane person sane, i wish i could get rid of depression and bring back the people youve lost. I wish i could stop you from jumping off that parking garage or help you not be in love with your own cousin. I really hate everything right now. I also really hate how i keep starting every sentence with “I”. This shouldnt be about me, i want it to be about you. The thing is though, it needs to be about me. Just this one time. Just this one time im going to completely say what is on my mind and get it all out because im afraid that if i dont, my head will explode. So here it is: I have never been able to completely confide in just one person. Everytime im close to it, something happens and ruins everything. I think that happens to everyone, right? As soon as you think everything might actually be okay for once, it isnt. It freaking sucks. Thats happened to me so many times that ive learned to just not have hope anymore. I learned to not think everything is going to be okay because i know it isnt and honestly, thats a crappy way to live. I dont like living like this. I just want one person in my life to stay. One test that i take to get a good grade. One thing that i dont screw up. One day that i dont get into trouble. Just one good thing to happen. I need a sign that this isnt all for nothing. Im getting so close to giving up that im scaring myself.