I’m sorry too late

I wouldn’t have pictured myself here 3 years ago, let alone a week ago. I have failed so many. I have caused stresses for family and nearly every person’s life I have touched. My family chooses to love me because they are good people. They are not the type of people who deserve pain. Thank you for your effort. I had good intentions with my life 7-8 years ago but I came across one too many closed doors. I stayed strong. Believing, good is repaid with good and hard work leads to better futures. This was not the case for me. I am not in denial, this is where I deserve to be. I teased my sisters growing up because they were chubby, now, as it has been for 16 years, I am bulimic. I dread to look at myself in the mirror. I fear eating thinking appearance is why I suffer. My body is consumed with stressed. I can’t handle the anxiety. The few people I’ve looked up to and trusted have all turned away. They had good reasons. I was “psycho,” “fat” or a “loser.” I don’t blame you. I appreciate the 30 years, 4 years or 2 weeks of time you gave me. I am sorry I brought any stress on you. I am sorry, I have never been normal or strong enough.