My Life .. My Emotions

I Have Depression .. Really Bad. I Get Blamed For Everything, I Find My Self Ugly , Fat Or Even No Good! When People Tell Me Im Pretty I Think There Lying. When Im Upset And Somebody Askes Me “Whats Wrong” I Usually End Up Crying Right At That Moment. I Been To A Clinic To Get Help. Im Now On Depression Meds Now! When Im Upsett Or Real Low The First Thing That Comes To My Mind Is Suicide. It Feels Like I Have No One To Talk To. To Trust. I Feel As Though Im A Loser 🙁 I Get Picked On At School For Being A Little Chubby But Im Not Extreamly Fat 🙁 Sometimes I Starve My Self Just TO Fit A Size 2 And I Know That Will Never Happen. Like Today In The Hallway A Boy Was Behind Me When I Was Walking And He Said ” She Can’t Fit Her Jeans, Fat Ass” And All His Friends Laugh. I Just Want To Fight Them But Im A Sweet Girl I Would Never Fight If Nobody Hit Me First. People Always Say Im To “Emotional” Or A “Drama Queen” .. My Mom Always Puts Me Down By Little Stuff Like ” Flat Butt” , “ugly” Or Even “Fat *****” And I Say Something Back She’s Quickly To Hit Me. Sometimes i Hit Her Back 🙁 My Dad Just Got In My Life When I Was About 12 Im 14 Now. Sometimes I Wish I Could Go Back In Time. And Start Over. My Life Sucks :(( I Just Don’t Know What To DO. I Tend To Eat Alot Of Junk Food Or Cry More then Usual ! the worst thing is , im the joke of school 🙁 why me?