In my bedroom closet, I tend to write out how I am feeling about probelms that make me want to kill myself. Most of them are about my parents and how I feel that they never make me feel appreciated.
On the wall one of the messages talk about how my mom always takes sides with. My 5 yr old brother. It gets annoying to know that she has favorites already. I renenber one time when I was upstairs in my room and my brother who was downstairs started crying. Automatically she screamed at me and said to knock it off and I never did anything.
She is the biggest reason why I tried suicide many times but never suceceed because I could never hold back my tears. My whole family should know by now that I have anger issues, because I have punched 2 holes in the wall, and kicked a hole in with my shoe.
One day my moms going to get me all worked up and I won’t be able to control it. I can barely handle my issues around my own life so it doesn’t help for her to keep causing probelms for me. And the worst thing is NOBODY in my family knows not even my friend only me and my diary hold all of my personal secrets.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
1 comment
I understand the stress that is happening. You mentioned that nobody in your family nor your friend knows about what is going on. Perhaps, as a result, they think the punching and kicking are ‘simple’ misbehavior or rebellion. They may not know that there is something a lot bigger taking place. I can empathize with the younger brother getting the special treatment. My younger sister was the favored child growing up… She was the ‘baby’ of the family and could never do wrong. At some point, after getting ‘irked’ about it, I realized it wasn’t going to change… and that I may as well put my energy elsewhere… so I did my best to do that. I’m glad you’re alive… There is a lot of life left. At some point, what you’re experiencing now will become a part of your distant past. It may be difficult at this moment… but this moment will end and become another moment… in a different situation… with different people… and probably a different outcome.