No one wants to be friends with a person that has hideous scars, or wears long sleeves all the time, or that enjoys rainy, gloomy days like me. My depression kills people. But i wouldnt be so depressed if I had friends. Someone that actually understands my pain..nobody wants to be friends with a girl that prefers the color black or that wants to stay in and watch movies. Nobody wants to be friends with that girl..that sits alone at the lunch table..waiting to breathe..waiting for someone to ask if the seat across from her is taken. No one wants to be friends with the girl thats forgotten how to smile and wants to forget how to live. Its not their resposibility to save her.
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So u think no one wants to be friends with you… But have you tried being friends with them? Have you ever looked around and saw someone who looked lonely, and went up to them and asked them how they are feeling? To make friends you have to show interest in them first
I HAVE done that. I know alot of people, but i have no friends. I dont know if that makes sense or not…
Yeah I feel like that as well. It took me a long time to realize 2 things: friendships develop over time, and you have to put in effort and time too. You can’t expect people to get you straight away. Like u prob won’t get them straight away either. People need time to develop trust to open up, and that takes work. So make the effort to call them, see how they are doing, see if thu want to hang out. Everyone ha their own problems but part of getting and keeping good friends is to first be a good friend yourself. Show them you care and they most likely will reciprocate
Hey “BlackRaindrops” I just wanted to drop you a line.
When browsing my updates on the forums your facebook link pops up.
This might be intentional, but if it isn’t you might want to consider deleting it.
I noticed that my IP address is up there too, which worries me.
It worries me because one time I was having conversations like the ones I am having on this site, (Yours might not be of the same content, but I’m just trying to help), and then a week later, a couple of men showed up at my house, right infront of my parents, and told them I was suicidal, and wouldn’t leave until I sat down with them. They wanted to take me away.
So please consider hiding that facebook link! There have also been a lot of predators on here, so if you would like to give it out, maybe just private message or email it to your online pals.
If you have no friends, I’d love to be yours. We can chat any time.
Kind regards,
Winter.
Thank you for that info. Thats really cool of you to tell me. I’m 18 though so idk how much a youth group would affect me. Yeahhh i’d love to chat sometime, Winter. That’d be really cool. Thanks
Oh, btw- the men that turned up were youth workers, (this was when I was younger), and it wasn’t from this site that they traced what I was saying.
A lot of stuff goes on and is said here that breaks the rules, but seriously, better safe than sorry if you post content about ending your life. Which you might not,
just consider what info you have up, before you post.
🙂
The guy who stays in on sunny days, but loves the cloudy and rainy ones. His depression scares everyone away. Someone who wants to paint everything black and wants to know someone that understands his unique pain. He knows everybody, but they don’t know anything. He fakes smiles and can only wait. At least I know there’s someone like me.
Rainy High? I’m Rain. Nice to meet you. We should talk…about how pink things are disgusting and how friends arent really friendly..We could talk about your pain. We should talk about your pain on a cloudy, rainy day..because sunny days depress me.
I’m Hal, and it’s also nice to meet you. The pain softens on the gloomy days. Sunny days make me feel like I have to go out and do something with fake friends. I rather just stay inside and look out my window or maybe even watch a movie. I’m only 19, but if feels like I’ve been around so much longer.
It really does soften on gloomy days, doesnt it? I feel the same way on sunny days as you do. *sigh* I hate when people call rainy cloudy days gross. I those are the only days i can hold off on self-harm. Movie watching is one of my favorite pass-times. The only thing that gets to me is having no one to watch movies with. Ah. I can only imagine..youve been on this literally hell of a planet for a year longer than me and i already feel like im wasting time here.
They call it ugly and bad, but we call them good days. I tend to think about suicide less on those days. I used to hurt myself so much, but it just doesn’t feel good anymore. I can’t say anything really satisfies me these days. I try to read, though it never works so I turn to movies. I always watch those “Artsy” or classic movies though. No body appreciates them like I do, so it’s usually just me. I like being lost in another world, you know? I struggle to find things to waste my time on.
i am looking for friends too, youre not alone
I’d love to be your friend. People shouldnt have to look for friends…Friends are needed and should be had
Yeah..cutting is starting to lose its effect, as sad as that is to say. I dont think ive ever watched an artsy or classic movies. I like movies like 300 and Immortals and stuff..Hero movies. I read ALL the time. Im kindve a geek. I feel lost in another world all the time. Like my mind works differently than alot of people so i understand things that they cant. They understand the meaning of life and i dont. I dont really wanna waste my time. I want something to matter. This life seems pointless..so what has you so depressed? Maybe I can shed a bit of rain on the matter ..*smile* I hate smiley faces..they seem way too happy —–> 🙂 that is not at all how i smiled -_-
I’m a geek too, trust me. I don’t know if can really pinpoint why I’m depressed. I don’t drive, too terrified. I don’t work because of my Social Anxiety. No money there. I’m a Photographer who barely take pictures. I never went out much till now. My days are so hazy. I sleep a lot and can rarely remember things. I wake up not knowing what day it is, what time, or even where I am for a bit. My memory is so bad and everything feels so surreal. Imagine always being in a dream, feeling like you can do anything, but at the same time always wanting to die. It’s so weird. I’m in the middle of nowhere looking for something. I just sit here, playing games, stringing a guitar, listening to music, staring at Facebook, taking pictures sometimes, and blah blah blah.
See, thats actually good for me. I pay attention to everything. Remember everything..work, go to school, come home and watch movies..alone. I rarely sleep so i rarely “wake up” I dont know…I stare at facebook so long, i know what everyones doing and where evryone is..and then i just get off to watch more movies…alone. *sigh* not really a good life. Dont die though…there are people just like you..
I too much prefer rainy days. Actually, I prefer night to day. A stormy night – heavy winds and heavy rain – is absolute heaven for me.
Rainy days are the best days. I love stormy nights. Its been like that in Florida for about a week now. Having someone that enjoys those nights just like you do to share it with is even better. Dark, Stormy, thundery, rainy weather is the best..sometimes i sit in the car and listen..or i make a cup of hot chocolate and think about things..Its really cool Yoda. People think im a freak for loving those days though
So you’re the complete opposite there, haha. The littlest things can keep me going for even a couple days more. Talking to you, just knowing there’s someone like me, makes me want to keep going. It’s a nice feeling. Cheers to the lonely people.
Yes *smile* but most of the people that i actually like are like you. They dont require my mind to run anymore than it already does. They slow me down. It makes me feel really good that you want to keep going. It also makes me feel not so alone..Someone like me..makes me smile.
cheers
I don’t really have any friends either. The people I know aren’t worth the trouble. That’s why im getting out of here, to be around people who are just genuine. That’s really all I wanted. They don’t have to have any miraculous abilities. Why is genuine so hard to find. Maybe you have to be broken and lose every ounce of strength, so weak you can’t attack anyone, not have the desire to resent anyone. Like us, dont want anything and have nothing to give.
I’m sorry if my writing isn’t up to my usual standard. I didn’t sleep at all last night and am trying to hold myself together at work.
Oh Duke..I always feel a sense of understanding in your comments whether its my post or not. Hopefully you arent refferring to dying. Genuine people..people that soley want to help and understand you as you would do for them. I guess it is true that you literally have to be broken although I do have something to give..i have compassion..I have amazing listening skills. I just want to be around the same kind of people..people that give to you what you give to them. And people that will not judge you based on the scars of your past or your preferences.
I like your writing better when it’s more casual for some reason. I write just like you but i find that i connect better with people when i write casually. Like this. Please get sleep when you get home and be strong at work..hopefully some of your strength will carry over to when youre off.
There you go! Knowing that makes me happier. We have to look out for one another. Friends or not, you know? Of course, I consider you a friend.
A friend..ah i love the ring of it. Of course its mutual. I do enjoy talking to you. And if i can, i will look out for you..especially people like you who need to stay alive to keep me alive. Thank you..! :]
I hate the rain. I’m usually in the middle of walking to work when it starts raining. I usually forget my umbrella and if it isn’t enough that my suit is all soaked some 17 yr old youth happens to be driving past in his dads brand new mercedes, racing around the streets and splashes through a puddle causing me to become even more drenched. Its only a mater of time before some metallic object I might happen to have on me acts as a giant conductor causing me to be struck by lightning.
It’s actually sunny outside. I always like it when that happens.
Sunny days work no magic for me, Duke. Its the rain that symbolizes life. The sun just makes hell on Earth more realistic than i’d like it to be. Although i’m only 18, I do find it annoying when young drivers race around streets like that. Bless your soul. I pray you be protected from any bolt of lightning or annoying teenager on your way to work. Even though i despise sunlight, i wish that all your days be bright and sunny. Have a good life.
As you’re finding, there’s lots of friends here. It would be interesting if everyone lived in the same country…lol. You gotta want to be friends with yourself. Making friends will just happen but what’s worked for me was going from being a task master, and beating myself up to being really kind and gentle with me. Not the most manly thing to say, but the difference it creates inside is peace, which feels very cool.
I was used to be ramped up with frustration, so I chose to shift the perspective I have of myself…and bit by bit, that choice has helped. All the best!
Dearest Paul. I believe you are correct. BUT people are harder on me than i am myself. I am not fat or ugly or too short or too tall. Ive been asked to model more than twice but people always take it upon themselves to kick me when im down or turn away when i reach out…people shouldnt beat themselves up at all but others shouldnt beat people up as well. Like Duke said, i just want genuine friends or at least to be around and converse with genuine people..much like i find on this site..it is ashame that we dont all live closer to eachother. I could really use some of the people here. I’m glad youre able to find peace..peace helps so much with suicidal thoughts and emotional turmoil.
Yeah, if we all lived closer we could have a sort of SP headquarters where anyone could drop in. However it might not be as utopian as you think as some of us are too unstable.
I vote for a pool table in the SP house.
Sounds like a great idea lucy4 then when we can’t sleep we can all get together and play a few rounds…not being able to sleep really sux
Right on Molly. I’ll cue em up & you can have first break.
Blackraindrop… I can relate to everything you are saying… about knowing lots of people and having no friends still… I graduated two years ago, so the whole awkward highschool thing is over… but it’s still difficult when all of your “accquaintances” want to go out constantly… when you are really too depressed to do anything. I don’t like being out and around other people. I just don’t really fit in anywhere… but if I knew you, I would be your friend.
Jabeck..im so sorry that you understand what im saying. I wouldnt wish what im feeling right now on anyone. I graduated 1 year ago but im still lonely even in college. Yeah my “friends” wanna go out all the time too but they dont see that im so depressed, i dont want to even leave my house..Knowing lots of people..having no friends. I’d love to be your friend. I’d accept anyone thats feeling how im feeling. <3 Thank you
I totally agree. I’m a lover of storms, too. Aaaaand a geek. Who reads waaaaaaaay to much fiction. I think my record was 11 books in one week, last fall. yeah. Although, I’m not much of a pool shark, so I think I’ll stick to scratching on all of my turns. Anyway, feel free to email me @ mary.e.birkhead@gmail.com. I’ll be friends with whomever! ADD and depression is an odd mix. I’m hyper yet pessimistic…. it’s weird. anyway, yeah. X/
gahhhh! quit moderating my comments!