After elementary school I found that people just get more annoying as they age- either that or i just grow annoyed more easily. In the past couple of years i’ve basically stopped communicating with my peers in fear of being judged. Yes, i’m “normal” around the few close friends i have- one of which tried to kill herself just last year, and another who tells me he thinks about it. Well, i think about it too. In fact, i think about it often. The only thing is i could never bring myself to do it. I used to call myself a coward, but now i try to believe that i’m strong enough not to bring myself down that far. But then again those moments come when i’m crying on the floor of the bathroom wondering how people bare the pain… It’s just so difficult being 16. I know i sound selfish for saying so. But i also know that they don’t understand the academic pressure we have today, or the pressure we get from society… I’m bisexual and have known this since I could write out the alphabet. I recognize myself as this, but not many others do. I haven’t told them because he has told me that it’s wrong and disgusting. He, who has so much judgement toward others… I’m sorry i can’t be a straight A student. I’m sorry i can’t resist the attraction I have toward women. We’re just so fucking hot. And i’m sorry i’m not super-model skinny. Stress just adds a couple pounds in the winter. I don’t actually know where i’m going in this… I just hate people. I hate being surrounded by those critcal eyes. I hate standing naked in front of the mirror wondering why I just can’t bring myself to lose a few. But most of all, i hate going to bed at night hating like I do.