I think I want the world to end.
I want the whole Mayan calender 12/21/12 thing to be true.
If the world does end then, that’s a week before my 17th.
I can’t ever imagine myself being older that I am now, is that a sign?
I feel so selfish for wanting the world to end.
But that is what I want.
I want to wake up one day but not wake up the next.
But I can’t do it for myself.
Because that would destroy my family.
Also, I’m far too stubborn to give up on life.
It makes me laugh that my stubbornness is basically what’s keeping me alive.
What does that say about me- that I’m not killing myself purely to prove I’m stronger.
Because I don’t feel strong.
Right now I feel pretty fucking weak.
But I’m fighting it anyway.
Because I don’t give in, that’s just not me.
I will fight this, no matter what.
But yes, an end of world would make the fight a whole lot easier.
What does it say about me as a person that I’m fine with the world ending as long as it means I don’t have to end myself.
It says I’m a horrible, selfish person.
I’m surprisingly alright with that.
What the fuck is wrong with me?
3 comments
The western powers in recent years have gone to war with people who wear slippers and a cloth on their heads. Now that countries like Iran and North Korea have fallen out of favour you might get your wish.
Sometimes I think my stubborness is keeping me alive, too… and I won’t complain… because if being stubborn is the narrow thread that keeps me going, I’ll try to use the time wisely. I understand your feeling of being weak… Life experiences can push you down. Please continue to fight this… no matter what… as you said. If you need to talk, many of us will listen.
Haha, thank you. Hmmm, yay for our stubbornness! 😉 Don’t worry, I’m a fighter and I don’t give in easily. I’m ridiculously stubborn and determined, so I refuse to let this beat me, not always easy, but whatever. I hope you can continue to fight this as well. The more people fighting and eventually beating this, the better. Thank you for replying <3