Why I’m cutting

The blood flows from my arms
You cry and tell my that I need to stop
You don’t understand.
This is what keeps me alive.
This proves I’m still human deep down.
This shows me I can still bleed, that I can still feel.
The razor is my best friend now.
He never judges.
He’s there when I need him.
He let’s me take my feelings out.
It’s not healthy it’s what makes you right.
This makes me right.
No matter how sick and twisted it sounds, its what keeps me sane.
If the price to pay is a little blood and some scars so be it.
The wounds heal.
What won’t heal is your life when I take mine.
So I ask you, what would you rather me do?
Love you and hurt myself,
or hurt you and end myself?
Jamie, I love you.
But I also loved Amanda.
I loved my friend and now she’s dead.
I couldn’t save her, and I deserve to suffer for it.
I want nothing more than to go meet her, where ever she is now.
But for you, I stay.
Let me have this, my moments of pain
To avoid a lifetime of sorrow for all