I see drawings, pictures, trinkets, clothes and I just want to get rid of them like that will make memories from before just disappear and stop haunting me. I wish it were true. I wish I had amnesia and would never remember who is was and still am.
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Yes! I don’t know whether you are talking about specific incidents or a rough period in your life. I was in decline anyway. I have analysed my life very carefully. I came to the conclusion that I don’t win. It is just in my nature to destroy myself. Whatever has happened is just another side of the same coin. Sometimes you can have a setback which changes your direction and that’s not always a bad thing.
God yes. If I could erase my memories or if Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was possible, I wouldn’t be depressed. But everything I love is tainted now. I gave him all of the things that mattered most to me-my favorite books, movies, places, paintings, songs, poems, etc. Now I can’t find anything to comfort me because he’s tied to everything I know to go to when I’m sad or alone. Why was I so dumb?