I was doing very well. I applied to join the Navy, took the tests and aced them. Got told I had about a 2 year wait, ok, that’s fine. I knew that I’d fail the medical if I didn’t get off my meds soon, so I told my doctor that I wanted out because I was feeling better, and I WAS.
This was about a month ago, I suppose, although I’m not sure. Time doesn’t seem to move in the same way anymore. I’ve been driving people away, I’ve been called “inappropriate”, “offensive”… “a drunk”… I tell myself that I’ve always been the type of person to take the piss out of others, that it’s just my way, but I’m not so sure.
Today was a strange day. I woke up late, and have been forgetting things all day. I told my dad I’d clean the bathroom for him, and forgot. I had a VERY important phone call to make, and I forgot that too. I had to sign on at the jobcentre, and was almost late because I forgot that too.
And for the first time in weeks, I thought of killing myself tonight.