I wonder if anyone from school reads this site…

I go to a public school but it is a very high-standards school. We take both highschool and college classes at the same time. No, they’re not AP, we actually take them at the local community college. This school is SO stressful, I am just a freshman and almost killed myself in December. Almost all of the juniors are potheads, to deal with their stress. The school is also stereotypical for socially awkward kids but really, we just don’t give a fuck about drama and the social scene. There are about 400 kids total (all of the grade levels 9-12) where the other schools in the district have 2000+. But the reason that most of us don’t care about the society is because we all have alot of domestic problems or problems from our past. I, for instance, come from a broken home.

My parents were divorced when I was 7, that year my dad broke his back and lost his home. My mom re-married to a total ass hole who i’ve had to deal with ever since then and I am STRONGLY considering moving out of that place and in with my biological father. My mom and step-dad are SO conceited that they will change the rules to make me do what they want and then say “that has ALWAYS been the rule” (verbatim, i cant even tell you how many times i have heard that bull shit response). And they make up the stupidest fucking rules. For instance, I’m a guy and i have to wear a shirt all of the time in the house. Even when i am alone in my own room sitting on my bed. Second, I have to put my phone and all electronics on the counter at night, one hour before i go to sleep. Why? because 2 years ago i was caught playing the Sims 2 at 2:00am on a Saturday night during the summer. Third, I cant close my door at night. That’s just like…what?? that doesnt make ANY sense. Fourth, if i have my girlfriend over, we can not leave the living room (cant even go on walks together), have to have an adult with us the whole time, and can not have any physical contact not even holding each other’s hand. Okay, now i get it that parents can be strict but honestly, like WHAT THE FUCK!? if any parents read this would you make your kid do this?? like cant we just cuddle on the couch or something like im not asking to go in my room close the fucking door and bang her, just to get cozy and watch like a movie or something!

Now maybe im just a spoiled brat but this is just unfair in my opinion. And the worst part is that the rules are always changing and im expected to know them. Thank you Delores Umbridge but this is not Hogwarts. Now im sure you’re wondering by now if you have even read this far what it has to do with suicide. Well, because of my mother, i have began to scratch myself as self harm…i tried to cut myself with my razor but it didn’t work, maybe it was getting dull but ill have to figure out something later. i think my dad is catching on to the fact that the raw spots on my arm cant all be rug-burn…

thank you for reading this. I guess you really do care. And if you go to my school…you know who i am…come talk to me.

J.